I Can't Live Without You (WMBW)

Trials and Tribulations

"As usual, there is a great woman behind every Idiot."
John Lennon

When I was young, I used to
Watch behind the curtains
As men walked up and down the street. Wino men, old men.
Young men sharp as mustard.
See them. Men are always
Going somewhere.
They knew I was there. Fifteen
Years old and starving for them.
Under my window, they would pause,
Their shoulders high like the
Breasts of a young girl,
Jacket tails slapping over
Those behinds,
Men.

One day they hold you in the
Palms of their hands, gentle, as if you
Were the last raw egg in the world. Then
They tighten up. Just a little. The
First squeeze is nice. A quick hug.
Soft into your defenselessness. A little
More. The hurt begins. Wrench out a
Smile that slides around the fear. When the
Air disappears,
Your mind pops, exploding fiercely, briefly,
Like the head of a kitchen match. Shattered.
It is your juice
That runs down their legs. Staining their shoes.
When the earth rights itself again,
And taste tries to return to the tongue,
Your body has slammed shut. Forever.
No keys exist.

Then the window draws full upon
Your mind. There, just beyond
The sway of curtains, men walk.
Knowing something.
Going someplace.
But this time, I will simply
Stand and watch.

Maybe.

Maya Angelou

~Dallas

"Again!" Dee yelled.

"A real man protects, loves and nourishes. He is something I'm not!"

"What number are you on soldier?!"

"546 sir!"

"And who are you?!"

"A bitch sir!"

"Again!"

"A real man protects, loves and nourishes. He is something I'm not!"

I was on push-up number 562 when he pushed me down flat on my stomach letting me know to stop. I rolled over on my back catching my breath and giving my muscles a break. I admitted to cheating, both times. After being punched twice and kicked in the balls courtesy of Ashley Crawford, she went upstairs with Laya, Austin went back to work and I was left doing push-ups until Dee told me to stop.

He walked over to me holding his hand out and pulled me up. He handed me a water bottle and I drank it sitting down while he stood in front of me.

"You know what the problem is Danny?" He questioned.

I sat silently scared I was gonna get hit again and waited for him to continue.

"It wasn't rhetorical bitch!"

"No I don't." I answered quickly.

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Your problem is you only seem to be able to think with your dick cause I already see that your dumbass don't got no brain!"

I put my head down shamefully not even wanting to look him in the eye. I was ashamed at what I did and Dee was just making it clear.

"So what you're gonna do is go upstairs and get my wife so she can cook cause dealing with you I've seem to have worked up an appetite. Then you're gonna do whatever my little sister says and if you don't then your gonna have four kids without a daddy."

I sighed standing up and walked upstairs to the guest room. I opened the door a little seeing Laya with her head in Ashley's lap crying as Ashley ran her fingers through Laya's hair. I took a deep breath to keep myself from crying. Dee is right, I really am a bitch.

I opened the door as Ashley look up at me rolling her eyes and kissed Laya on the forehead before whispering something in her ear. Laya sat up and they hugged before Ashley got up pushing me out the doorway and walked out and went downstairs.

The front door shut and Laya turned away from keeping her back to me.

"Get me some clothes so you can take me to make sure I don't have a STD!" She hissed.

I nodded my head going down the hall to our room and in the closet. I got one of her sundresses, with underwear and sandals. I went back down the hall and handed them to her.

"Dallas do you really think I can wear this dress? I have three people inside me, get a bigger one dumbass."

I bit tongue to keep from saying anything and went back to the room. I'm just gonna have to take her words. In the end I'm the one who messed up not her.

~Ahalieia

I slid on the underwear and put on the sandals sitting on the end of the bed.
At least he managed to remember I hate wearing bras, I'm sorry but I swear they're the devil.

Dallas walked back into the room handing me another dress and I slipped it on. I got up going down the stairs and walking out the door. I got in the car and waited as Dallas walked out the house and shut the door. He got in the car and started it up and pulled off toward his dad's office.

"I'm sorry." I told him.

He glanced over at me with his face scrunched up confused then turned his attention back at the road.

"For what?" He asked.

"Calling you names. Just cause I'm mad and you have a dirty dick doesn't give me the right to talk to you like you're nobody. You're still human."

He smiled a little and put his hand on my thigh but I moved it. He pulled up at the office and parked then got out walking around the car and helping me out of it. We walked in and went straight to the back and in his dad's office. The nurse gave me a cup and I took it going in the bathroom and peeing in it. I came back handing it to her and sat down in the chair next to Dallas. It was the only seat left.

"Dallas I know we're not together but if I have a STD then were never ever getting back together and I will never forgive you."

"Laya I promise I never meant to hurt you. It was a mistake. Baby I need you and I never wanna lose you. I promise you if you take me back I'll never do anything like that again." He declared.

"You don't know how bad I wanna believe that Dallas." I tell him leaning over and holding his head between my hands. He smiled at me as I looked in his eyes and I smiled back. "But the thing is now all I ever seem to hear out of your mouth is bullshit."

He frowned as I pulled away and leaned back. The door opened and his dad walked in with a folder.

"Hi Laya how are you doing?" He asked me as he hugged me.

"Fine." I tell him.

"Well good news is your clean thank God."

I let the breath I'd been holding and began to relax a little.

"But it seems there may be something wrong with one of the triplets. Make an appointment with your OBGYN immediately just to make sure. I may be just over reacting. An ultrasound will do much better than a urine test."

I stood up feeling a lump in my throat and walked toward the door.

"Laya-" Dallas started.

"Stop Daniel. I-I just need a second."

I walked out and down the hall to the bathroom. I leaned against the sink trying to catch my breath. The door opened and Dallas walked in coming toward me.

"Just leave me a-alone." I told him.

"Baby you okay?"

"Dallas go!"

"I just trying to he-"

"You've done enough! This is all your fault! If you just leave me alone then I'd be okay Dallas. Just go away!"

He turned around walking out and slamming the door as I broke down. My life was quickly spiraling into shit and the only person I could think of was my mom. One of the few people I knew who loved me unconditionally and could never hurt me. Ever.