Anger gets through our vines and crawl at our minds it silences our hearts and give us all kind of ideas , hideous, outrageous , unexpected acts can arise from anger and the right kind of atmosphere, just like when you mix all the colors together you end up getting black its the same thing with emotions , that's what I came to realize, I felt sorry for being able to smile for real shortly after my mother's death , there must be something wrong with me I thought because quiet frankly I had no other excuses to myself , but human beings always question their sanity when there is no explanation , we never just think that maybe its god giving us a new chance , maybe our grief isn't that needed , but than again grief was never a choice it's an obligation a solid rock that would be dumped on your spirit and heart , and just like we can't choose to feel grief , sometimes too we can't choose to be happy , sometimes things happen on their own without us having to think or do anything , that's the beauty in life because with these very rare occasions we learn acceptance .
its 6 pm in the evening I was restless so I put on my suit and called Ian,"Hey man , you looking classy"Ian said to me , he's setting on my bed with a news paper in his hand , it has an article about today's event , " a spectacular display of both modern techniques and classical music in one soiree , hosting a very interesting and talented group of young and determined musicians " he said reading from the article , he smiled at me "I'm proud of you man" he said , I nodded offering him a cup of instance coffee ,I like his presence it calmed my nerves a bit, the event starts on 9 pm , Julia said she'll meet me there , I couldn't wait to see her my hands are shaking again , my mind is a train wreck so I did what I do best at times like these , I took a pack of cigarettes from Ian's jacket and we both went to my balcony , smoking and looking at the falling leaves " you know you'll do great today " he said I exhaled " yeah" I said , " can't hear you " he said giving me a challenging look "YEAH" I repeated he put his hands on his ear in a gesture to hear better " still can't hear you , come on scream! get it out of your system !" He said , I took a moment I want to scream it , I need to scream it so with a hard grip on the railing " YEAH IM GONNA DO GREAT TODAY!" I screamed to the world I wanted my mother , aria , my father , god damn everyone to know , I'm ready to take on from that doting place I put myself in , I'm ready to claim the hole I dug for myself , and carry on my life journey because now I'm not alone , I've got people who I care about and care about me so I'll carry on, I'll gather the particles of love , encouragement and care and paint them with the piano sound , I smiled at the sky its cloudy today but it doesn't matter because I grew quiet a liking to the unclear hue it had .
" we're starting in 10 minutes " the staff announced in the waiting room I was in , they gave a room for Julia too , she was running late , but I'm good at waiting so I wait , I know she's gonna show up, smoking was always something I do when I'm nervous or need a way out that's what got me so attached but not today , not this moment , my fingers wanted to feel the familiarity in the piano keys , there was a sound behind my door and suddenly Julia came barging in all red and buffing out of breath " I'm so .. Sorry" she said than waited another moment to collect her self "I got cough up in traffic" she said I smiled and patted the seat next to me offering her a bottle of water , she looked splendidly amazing ,wearing a simple but classy green silk dress that complemented her hair color , she smiled I think my heart Skipped a beat , " its alright I knew you'll show up" I said taking her hands in mine " there isn't much time left , I'm nervous "she said , I squeezed her hands in mine " you don't have to be , we'll do this together "I told her standing up and offering her a hand at that moment our hearts quieted down and we both felt it , we felt like heroes on a mission , our mission is to amaze the world and that's exactly what we'll do , together , with trembling hands , and smiling eyes , reckless thoughts and eager spirits , we came with all our chaos and boarded that stage like its ours the moment we knew that this thing we have , the power to express and paint with sounds , our bond made us sight in delight so we didn't care much about nerves because our invisible caps were fluttering to the claps of the crowd , and we finally felt at home.
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Author's note
" I remember the days I used to cry to sleep , the days where I cracked under pressure , than I wake up to my presence and see the beautiful new pieces I found when looking for old tattered ones "
Cloudy .
YOU ARE READING
Particles Of Youth
Short Story"that day I stayed out looking at the shop with instruments of all kinds but most importantly it had a piano that looked incredibly sad and lonely , I wanted to play it , I needed to play it my finger twitched in participation and so I took a step f...
