Surviving Cancer

Tuesday, November 7

LEVI POV

I dropped into my desk in my first hour. I had waited until everyone was good and asleep last night before I snuck down and into my dad's office. I meticulously went through everything making sure it never looked like it had been touched. Drawer after drawer, folder after folder. Just when I thought the secrets were in my head I found it. It was tucked way back in the corner of the closet, piled under numerous other boxes. When I saw the old cardboard box with the edges all broken and worn I new it had to be it. All the other boxes had labels and that one sat there unmarked from what I could see, weathered and full of answers. I had carefully unpiled the stack of boxes, pushing them to the side so I had just enough room to sit down in front of the box. I stared at it, I ran my fingers along the edges, across the folds of the top. I knew once I opened the box there was no going back. It may say nothing but it could say everything. Things I hadn't even imagined. Things I didn't want to imagine. Even with all my hesitation I had found myself pulling open the top of the box. And now I sat at my desk in my first hour with an old manila envelope. Last night I hadn't taken the time to go through everything in the box, so I grabbed what looked important and piled the boxes back on top. I had grabbed the folder because I saw our birth certificates. And now during my classes I had all the time in the world to read what was in the folder.

I flipped it open, Maci's birth certificate was on top and mine was right behind. I read them both over, Jennifer's name was there and so was my dad's. The name of the hospital, our birth date, our time of birth, their signatures. Everything was what it was suppose to be. I set them aside, picking up the next paper. It was a letter from Jennifer to my dad. Her handwriting was a mix between print and cursive but perfectly uniform.

Don,

I'm sorry I didn't stay. I just couldn't. It was too much. Did you keep them?

Love, Jenny

In our version of the story my dad had never considered giving us up. I set the letter down and picked up the next few. They were all from Jennifer.

Don,

I hope you can forgive me for leaving even if you don't understand why I did. You're going to be a great dad.

Sincerely, Jenny

People began taking seats around me but I was lost in my own world. One that took place sixteen years ago.

Don,

I'm sorry you found out this way. That's part of why I left. I couldn't face you. But I picked you for a reason. I hope you don't change your mind.

Jennifer

"What's that?" Greg asked as he sat down next to me.

Without a word I handed over the pile I'd already gone through. My thoughts were rushing. I flipped through a few pages, scanning the words. I could feel my heart start to race, anxiety rising through my chest and pulling at my throat. I thumbed through page after page of some legal documents, my eyes scanning frantically until I stopped dead. It was a DNA test.

"Greg." I barely managed to squeak out. "Look." Greg leaned over, holding the corner of the paper as he read it.

"Holy shit." He mumbled. "So wait, your dad..."

"Is not our dad." I finished.

"But it says he is on your birth certificates." Greg said.

I nodded my head, "But this is cold hard proof that he isn't."

I ran my hand through my hair, pulling at the ends. I didn't know what to feel. I loved my dad, he was the only dad I ever knew. And if he wasn't actually our dad, then I had even more respect for him because who really wants to take someone else's kid let alone two when you're eighteen. But at the same time I felt lost. Who were we? Who was I? Did our real dad know about us? And if he did, had he wanted us? And why had we never been told?