Surviving Cancer

Saturday, October 7 Cont'd

LEVI POV

I tightened my grip around the metal chain of the swing, shoving my black Vans into the sand and pushing off. I closed my eyes, feeling the wind rush over my face as I gained speed and altitude. Maci loved swings, I could take them or leave them but here I was my hips getting pinched from the hard plastic seat as it bore my weight. I opened my eyes as I flew backwards through the air. Greg and Jackie were down by the small pond in the middle of the park. Jackie had her hand in Greg's, her red hair blowing in the wind as she threw her head back in laughed. That should have been me there making her laugh. Instead I missed my shot and now all I had was this stupid swing. I closed my eyes again. I wondered what Maci was thinking right now. Maybe I should call her. Make sure she's okay. She was at the wedding thing with Jared though. I still couldn't figure that guy out. Either of them really.

"Hey stranger." I opened my eyes, hearing Emma's voice. I gave her a weak smile as I flew past her on the swing. "Mind if I join."

"Nope." I muttered, no longer pumping my legs so I could slow down.

"You disappeared. Is everything okay?" She asked, slipping onto the swing beside me.

That was the one thing I had noticed about Emma, everything she did was graceful. "Yeah." I watched her as she pumped her legs; somehow she managed to make it look effortless. "Hey can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She flashed her perfect smile at me, her green eyes sparkling.

"You know Jared right? That senior."

I couldn't see her face but I felt a hesitation when she answered me. "Yes."

"Do you know what's up with him? Like why him and Skylar don't like each other." I asked, I had to get to the bottom of it.

She went still on the swing as it carried her back and forth. She slowly tucked a piece of her red hair behind her ear before she brought her eyes to mine. "Yes."

"Will you tell me?" I thought it was pretty clear I wanted to know, why she wouldn't just tell me I had no idea.

She exhaled, the strain in her voice evident. "I dated their best friend Matt, he just turned 16. Skylar and Jared decided they should all get drunk and go for a drive. They got in a car accident and Matt died. Skylar and Jared walked away fine."

"I'm really sorry." I said instinctively. I know I should have sounded more sympathetic but my mind was too busy trying to analyze my new found data and figure out where Maci fit in.

"Yeah me too. I loved him." Emma said, the last three words catching my attention.

She loved him. Did she still love him? If she did what was she doing trying to date me? Was that something I could even ask her? I mean was it appropriate or was I going to get my face slapped off? Maybe it was perfect though. If she was still hung up on this Matt guy and I was hung up on Jackie, we could just use each other. Lessen the degree of the suck, knowing we weren't going to be able to have the people we really wanted. We could settle for each other until something better came along.

"Were you friends with Skylar and Jared?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Doesn't matter if I was or wasn't they killed him. That's the quickest way to ruin a friendship if you ask me." She started swinging again and I followed suit. "To be honest when I saw him at your house with Maci I wanted to stab my knife in his throat."

"I don't blame you." I muttered.

I knew Jared and Skylar were bad news. Now I just had to convince Maci she was better off without them, especially now. The last thing she needed was those two idiots fighting over her and putting her in danger. We had to focus on getting her better and getting rid of the cancer, not on making sure she's safe from those idiots. I pumped my legs hard, forcing the swing to take me higher. I glanced over at the pond where Greg and Jackie were still lingering. I felt anger course through me, forcing my hands to tighten their grip on the metal chain as Greg leaned in to kiss her. This was going to be torture watching them. And as much as I didn't want to admit it, I wanted Jackie to be jealous. I wanted her to want me the way that I wanted her, even if she was with my best friend.

"Hey Emma?"

"Yeah?"

Without taking my eyes off of Jackie I asked, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
                    --------

MACI POV

I threw myself down on my bed, kicking off my heels. My feet hurt, my throat was raw, and my eyes were feeling puffy again. After I left Skylar's I sat in my car in my driveway and threw the biggest tantrum to date. I screamed and cried and punched as hard as I could. It did nothing to ease the anger and frustration I felt inside. I threw my arm over my eyes, blocking out the light. I just wanted to be happy and healthy. Was that so much to ask? I didn't want to have to go through chemo and radiation again. I didn't want a stupid port. I didn't want to be tired and sick and achy. I didn't want to have to tell people and have them get all-weird around me. I just wanted to be normal. That's all I had ever wanted. I grabbed my phone from my purse, squinting my eyes as the light blinded me. I scrolled through my contacts list until I reached Jared's number. I hit send and pressed it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi it's me." I mumbled.

"Maci? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I have a question." I said.

"Alright what is it?" He asked. I could hear a door click shut behind him.

I sat upright on my bed, staring straight ahead at my door. "Why are you afraid of sick people?"

"What?"

"Why are you afraid of sick people? You said you were afraid of hospitals because of sick people. I want to know why." I said again.

I heard him let out a frustrated sigh. "I just hate hospitals after the whole Matt and Skylar thing."

"Then why did you say you're afraid of sick people?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do." I pushed.

"Why does this matter so much?"

"Because I need to know Jared, just answer the question." I spat.

He sighed again. His voice dripping in frustration, "I'm just...it scares me...God Maci. I'm afraid of losing people."

"You can lose people that aren't sick though." I said.

"You don't think I know that?" He snapped back. "I can't help but associate hospitals and sickness with death, sorry."

"Okay." I muttered. I had my answer. Jared would run for the hills once he found out about my cancer. I could see it playing out now. "I'll see you at school."

I hung up just as he said my name and ignored his two calls that followed. I didn't need any more friends abandoning me when things got tough and scary. I might as well weed them out now. Skylar seemed like he was going to be able to handle it. After I slapped him and before I left we talked about it. Well he asked me a lot of questions and I answered them as best I could. Now all I had to do was tell Jackie. After that, it would only be a matter of time before the entire school would know. And there wasn't a whole lot I could do about that.