Surviving Cancer

Monday, November 27

MACI POV

I was seated between my dad and Levi, my mom on Levi's other side. We had picked Levi up from school and headed straight to my appointment. Levi had my hand in his when Dr. Hildebrand walked in. He sat down, two other doctors on my team with him.

"Maci, how are you?" Dr. Hildebrand asked, he look at me over the top of his glasses.

"I'm fine." I answered.

"So today we are going to just discuss exactly what to expect with a bone marrow transplant." I nodded my head.    "Our first step is to find and locate a donor for you. There are registries we can set you up on like Be The Match but we find that relative donors are typically a closer match.  If a donor isn't found we can use your own harvested bone marrow however there runs a risk of the cells being mutated."

I stopped listening, hung up on the words harvested and mutated. It made me feel like a science experience. I wasn't mutated. And I hated that the word mutated was so often connected to cancer and my diseased cells.

I shifted my gaze past my dad and out the window. I was also aware that this appointment had turned from discussing my options to prepping me for the transplant, which meant at some point it had just been decided for me. I wasn't mad. I couldn't be. Even if I didn't want to do the transplant, if I actually wanted to give up, it wasn't fair to everyone else. I had to fight. I owed them that.

"The recovery process is slow and immediately following the engraftment you'll be staying in the hospital." He explained. "The first 100 days are the most critical." Dr. Hildebrand pushed some papers towards my dad. "Here is some more information for you to read through."

"How soon will we know if there's a donor?" My dad asked.

"Well if a relative that matches steps forward that would be the most deal, if not it could take a while." He said.

"I will." Levi said. I looked at Levi, his face determined. "How soon can we find out if I'm a match?"

"We could get you in here in the next day or two and if you match Maci could start her irridation. Two weeks give or take and we could have her ready for the transplant." Dr. Hildebrand said.

"Let's do it then." Levi squeezed my hand under the table, hope rushing through me.

"Levi, we need to discuss this." My dad said.

"Your dad is right. You're a minor. Your parents need to consent." One of the other doctors said.

Levi looked at my mom then my dad. "Why won't you let me?" He waited for my dad to answer but he didn't. I was just as curious. "I've researched it, there's minimal risk for the donor." He looked at my doctors. "I'm right, aren't I?"

Dr. Hildebrand nodded his head, "Yes, there is minimal risk for the donor."

"So what's the problem then?" Levi asked.

"We will talk about it at home." My dad said, his tone evident we were done with the discussion for the time being.

I glanced at Levi, his lips pressed together in a hard line. I had no idea why my dad was against it. And if he was so set against Levi being a donor, why didn't he volunteer himself? Or maybe we could ask our grandparents? I felt my heart beat harder in my chest. Anger rising through me. If this was something that could potentially cure me and if it was in fact low risk, then why not? Why would my dad not just say okay? I wanted to yell, or cry, or both but I
held it in. I swallowed, keeping my eyes down as we left the hospital and climbed in the car. We weren't even out of the parking lot before Levi brought it up again.