Surviving Cancer

Wednesday, December 13

Author's note at bottom. You should probably check it out, just saying.

MACI POV

I stared at the wall opposite me. The room had fallen into silence, none of us having anything to talk about. We had gone over Jonah and Alicia's wedding, how wonderful to was, how happy Jonah seemed, how thrilled we were to be apart of it. And Jonah sat in his chair, a smile spread across his face and a silver band on his left ring finger.

I hadn't told Jonah and Walter that Levi was a match or that we were moving forward toward a transplant. I was excited and maybe a little more hopeful than I knew was realistic. But I couldn't help it. And the thought of this curing my cancer made me want to fight twice as hard, whereas before some days I wasn't even sure if I wanted to fight at all. But even with all my excitement I didn't want to tell Jonah or Walter. I felt guilty.

"What's so interesting on the damn wall there?" Walter asked.

My eyes flicked to him then to Jonah, who was staring at the wall also, and back to the wall.

"Nothing." I answered.

"Nothing sure is captivating." Walter muttered. "Don't you think Jonah?"

Jonah nodded in agreement. How could I possibly tell them that I may end up living if the transplant worked? Walter was living on borrowed time, he'd said it before. And Jonah even though he tried to hide it, you could tell he was slowly getting worse.

"So I figure that wall's got an invisible message on it." Walter coughed into a handkerchief. "Or you aren't telling us something."

"Something happen?" Jonah asked.

I looked at Jonah, he had his head tilted back against the headrest, his eyes closed.

"Not really." I cringed, I didn't sound too convincing.

"Oh just tell us." Walter said.

Jonah cracked an eye open, watching me. "What is it?"

I licked my lips, taking a deep breath. I couldn't help but feel like I was going to abandon them. The transplant might work and then well that would be it. I'd get to move on, I'd get to finish living my life. I knew I was the youngest out of the three of us but did that really mean it was far for me to live and not them? They had families and friends and memories still to make.

"I'm not getting any younger." Walter commented.

I nodded, I should just tell them. They'll probably be happy for me. Well Walter would at the very least.

"I'm getting checked into the hospital Friday." I said. "To start prepping for the transplant."

"You found a donor then?" Jonah asked.

He lifted his head up, a smile spreading on his face. I bit my lip trying to hold back a huge grin.

"It's Levi." I added.

"That's awesome! Why would you not tell us?" Jonah asked.

I shrugged, my eyes settling on Walter. He smiled huge, his dentures dropping from the top of his mouth. He gave me a wink, covering his mouth.

"I don't know." My voice came out like a whisper.

I could feel Jonah watching me but I just kept watching Walter. I couldn't help but feel like I was cheating Jonah. I knew it was ridiculous. We had two different types of cancer. Mine had a possible cure. His was too far along.