Poetry by Ynab

Still In Love

I was 18 when i met you

first day in my twice last year in school

you stared at me and blushed when you wrote my name

coz you couldn't get it right

I hoped and prayed that you were just naturally shy

even though i knew you probably weren't...

One month later you acted like you never knew me

i was so angry when you blatantly ignored me.

I hadn't remembered you were shy

so i wrote you off as an "ignorant, irritating and arrogant man"

You watched me months later

trying to fall asleep on a hot afternoon in the bus.

i didn't like how you kept pressing your chest on me

since you and your cronies thought i was kind of a waste of space.

You apologized with those searching eyes i hated so much

and i got up and walked out on you.

Real mature i guess

Whenever you saw me walk into physics class

your friends would eye me

it scared me a whole lot

coz i had never liked attention

But for some reason I wanted yours

Albeit half-heartedly.

Later that year you got to know me better,

When we went on a school trip and you loved my figure hidden so well

And you loved how I smiled and laughed

And I remember thinking as we sat outside the office waiting for our caution money

About how I would probably not see you in a while after we parted that afternoon.

And it was a bit true because we didn't

But I was well on my way down the path of love to you.

I remember when we first agreed to be together

But I ran out because it was too quiet,

The second time because you were too intense

And the third time because there was someone else

And for close to six years we played that dangerous game

Where we weren't quite lovers, nor just best friends.

But something in between which we didn't understand.

Every moment together was filled with a mix of emotions

Dangerous like a loaded gun pointed at a deer caught in the headlights

And then we were scrambling to be together,

To make memories,

Your lips against mine,

Your hands leading to new places and your eyes

Dilated like you were on a drug...

Then you were gone

And we were gone

And it was all over.

You hit me up a while back

After I had called you a liar, a cheat and exposed you

After my red hot blood was cool from the passion of anger

And you said we needed to meet up

That I wasn't over you

That we weren't in the clear

But I was so over it

So over the lies and baiting and time wasting

And I told you I never wanted to see you In this lifetime or the next

Was your kiss poison?

Was our love the star-crossed kind?

Or was it unrequited?

I always thought the middle, but I found out It was the latter

And boy were you sorry you got caught up in your lies

By the girl you thought you could lie to for 6 years

I still love you,

But the passion is gone.

This love is the kind you enjoy watching from afar

Coming too close would result in nothing but chaos.

Maybe someday I'll love again...

But for now...

For now I'm content with making friends

That and nothing more.