Being Human In Public

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A/N.; This will be a short chapter. Also, the remaining of the few chapters will be told in Chris'perspective. Morgan's life will not be directly mentioned until the Epilogue. Enjoy! Deuces!✌🏾
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Chris...

All I could remember was being at some party and wanting to see Morgan. Now here I am. Laid in an hospital bed with my mama sleeping at my bedside with Royalty asleep on her lap. I have a tube down my throat and up my nose.

I reached other pushing the call button for assistance. My body hurts. What happened to me?

A little while passed before a nurse finally came. When the nurse finally did come it was an older woman. She looked familiar but I could place where I knew her for.

I fixed my mouth to ask her for some water because my shit was dryer than the dessert. However, I never got the chance to. This lady smacked the shit out of me and began muttering to me in what sounded kind of like Spanish.

I could not even holler out in protest before she was smacking me again.

"Mama!?", I croaked shielding my head with my arms.

"Whcbdkdndlsndkdndks!"

"Mama!?", I called louder causing my throat to hurt even more.

"Boy, shut up all of that damn hollering!", I heard mama quip, bit the woman had not let up.

"Mama?", I called out to her again.

"What, boy, damn?", Mama called with an attitude.

"Mama, help", I called still shielding myself from the crazy ass nurse that was currently whooping my ass.

I heard a sigh before I was hit one last time. Slowly and cautiously I lowered my arms from shielding my head. The woman now stood at the foot of the bed mugging me.

"Ayo, ma. Who dis crazy ass lady?", I asked my mama while eyeing the woman still.

Placing Royalty down on the chair as comfortably as she could place her, mama came to stand beside the bed at my side.

"This is Nurse Trudy, a good friend of mine. You should be familiar with her as well. Also, she knows someone very dear to the both of us", Mama said vaguely.

"You hurt my daughter, little boy", spat the lady suddenly.

"What?", I said dumbly.

"You. Hurt. My. Daughter. I did not stutter, young man. You have big ass ears for a reason. Now use them and listen. If you do not get your act together for the sake of my grandson you can forget about being a part of his life. He doesn't need to see his father like this. He deserves better from you", she quipped.

I rolled my eyes, "Man, you don't know what you talkin' 'bout. I don't even know you lady", I dismissed becoming aggravated.

"You may not know me personally, but you will if you keep causing Morgan problems. The last time that I saw you I thought you were a decent enough man, but I am not so sure anymore. You are lucky that I do not break my foot off up in your ass for the shit you have caused my family. I look at Morgan as my own and for you to yet again hurt her? Little boy, I should give your ass a booster shot on steroids right in your yellow ignorant ass", she declared vehemently.

My mouth fell open in shock. Who was this woman to speak to me like that? Then my mama wasn't saying anything? Why wasn't she saying anything? Why wasn't she defending me?

I turned my head to meet Mama's gaze. I wish that I had not. Mama looked so utterly disappointed and devastated. It was even more so than last time she had this look upon her face.

"Mama?", I muttered.

"Didn't I try hard enough with y'all, Christopher? Didn't I raise you better than that? You put your hands on that girl. You stressed her out so much that she nearly had another got damn stress stroke. I know that you are hurt that she moved on, but it's time for you to let go. You drove her away and you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Then, the drinking, sex with all of these loose ass little girls, and drugs? You're doing drugs now, Christopher Maurice? I did the best I could with you! How could you!?", Mama exasperated angrily.

"Ma-"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it. Drugs? Drugs, Chris", she said tiredly.

I dropped my head. I could lie and say that it was not true. I could deny it. But what good would it do if she already knew? It would only make me an even bigger liar than I already was.

"I knew that you were not yourself lately. I knew because I know my baby. I just never thought that it would get this bad. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry that mama failed you. I'm-"

"Mama, no. It's not you fault. You-you couldn't of known. I hid it so well. I never wanted you or anyone to see me like this. I'm sorry. Mama-", I paused, my voice cracking.

My emotions were getting the best of me. That was why I even turned to this shit to begin with. I just wanted to stop feeling so much. I wanted the aching in my heart to stop. I just wanted to be happy, even if that happiness was momentarily given to me by a pill or powder.

"I am so sorry, mama. I will quit. I just need-mama, I am so sorry", I apologized.

"Chris, I forgive you, baby. Shh!", Mama called pulling my aching body into her embrace.

She held me while I cried. I did not even know that I had been crying.

"Daddy?", I heard my daughter's voice.

"Don't cry, daddy", I heard her say feeling her little arms wrap around me as well.

There I was lying in a hospital bed wrapped in the arms of my mama and daughter. I was supposed to be the one holding my daughter comforting her. I was supposed to be the one wiping her tears. I was supposed to be the one telling her that it would be okay. Instead she is the one doing all of those things for me. I cried harder.

I may of lost my son. Morgan probably does not want to see me ever again. I cannot blame her if she does not. I caused her stress for no reason. I went to her house and disrespected her. Not just her, but our son and her man. No matter how bitter of a pill that is for me to swallow, she has a man that is not me.

He takes care of her in a way that I could not. He makes her and our son happy. He stepped up to the plate when I was lagging. He is hers and she is his now. There is no room for me anymore.

I fucked up. I have to live with that shit. I was so wrapped up in my own self-pity that I was missing the bigger picture. I was hurting those around me because I was having a hard time letting go. I will always love Morgan, but this is not who I am.

This woman fucked me up. She fucked me up so bad. I do not even know who I am anymore. I let my family down. I let my fans down. I let myself down. Even if I can never see my son ever again after today, I want him to be able to know that I tried for him.

Not just him, my daughter as well. I want my children to know that their daddy tried. That he loves them and will do anything in this world to see them happy. I want them to look up to me. I want for them to never feel like I didn't try or like I was never there for them. I want them to know deep in there bones that their daddy will move heaven and hell for them. That I love them more than anything in this world.

I gotta do something different. I have to. If I continue on this way there will be nothing left of me but them. They will go on in life without me there to watch them grow. I need help.

'God, can you hear me? I need help, father', I cried from deep within my soul as my mama and daughter embraced me.

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