Meeting Marshall Mathers: The Slim Shady Era

Chapter 65

After overcoming my little phase I went back inside, he was mixing up something in a glass of water, he downed the drink and then looked at me with a blank face, there was no warmth like there was before,

"So..." he put down the glass with force and crossed his arms,
"Are you gonna tell me what the fuck that was?" He flipped, suddenly my mouth dried,

"I... what do you mean?" I stuttered,

"Don't play dumb! You know what, when I was listening in I was like aight that's fine, but I thought on it and you wanna fuckin' leave me after what I've done for you? Are you out of your mind?!"

"No, I was just..."

"Every motherfucking thing I try to do by a girl ain't ever fucking good enough! I let you live in my house, I bring you to the studio with me, I fucking let you in and you do me like this?! What the fuck's goin' on in that head of yours Jodie? Do you not love me? Is this all some big fucking game to you?!"

"It's not like that! Marshall please don't get this wrong!" I pleaded,

"No it's not? Maybe it was all a bet huh? I know I'll go VIP and flash my tits and trap the rapper! All bets are on right?! You won!"

"You have got this mixed up!! You can't say you haven't doubted us before?" I tried to justify myself,

"No, because you know why Jodie? Some of us go through some hard motherfucking BULLSHIT and then once you find that one person who you think could be the one and you got 'em you don't look back! You wanna walk on me then fine, go! I ain't keeping you here!"

"Marshall I never meant it in seriousness" my tears began to fall,

"You know I just don't get it..." his voice fell scarily soft,
"I.. I drop down my guards for you... and I give you my ALL but that ain't good enough. You know what, I'm done with women, I'm done with you, I'm fucking done with everything"

"You're... ending this?" The wind had been knocked out of me, what had I done!

"What does it sound like" He cockily wobbled his head,

"I can't believe you're doing this.. I didn't mean any of that like you think I did" I walked out of the kitchen, walking away, holding my breath,

"I'm doing this to you?!" He yelled at me from behind,

"Yes!! I love you! Why would I ever want to leave you?!" I snapped back,

"Are you tryna fuck with my mind!!" He grabbed ahold of my arm and pushed me into the wall, his eyes bulging with anger,

"No" I sobbed, he was staring at me with such a repulsed look,

"You don't love shit" he snatched his shoulder away from my touch and walked backwards looking at me as though I was a piece of dirt on his shoe. He stormed off and left me alone in the foyer, my only option now was to get a taxi back to Karlie's Aunts to give him some space.

I arrived back to an empty house. As soon as I got into the bedroom I dumped my luggage near the door and curled up in bed. Nothing could have described the way I was feeling. My whole heart felt like it was shredded up into millions of tiny pieces, my mind was blank and my feelings were stumped. I knew how much I'd hurt him, how stupid was I to have even began to contemplate that I was getting cold feet, I was beating myself up and I deserved it! I couldn't stop crying, I'd never felt so bad in my life, my world had fallen to bits.
I knew deep down that I'd blown it and there was no way I'd be able to sort this out, I knew once Marshall was hurt deeply or if his trust was betrayed he wouldn't waste anymore time on second chances, he didn't have to, he was Eminem.