𝐇𝐨𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫

𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞

April 17th, 1985

What did I do wrong to make him not want to learn? Was it because I came off as rude with the way I was talking to Carol? All afternoon it was eating at me.

I wished Billy could have the motivation to be tutored, but it's like he doesn't care. I wanted to know if he had family who wanted him to pass his senior year, but so far I got nothing.

"They were being assholes, Evelyn." I complained into the telephone at my home. "One was being so mouthy that I felt like stuffing an entire dictionary in her mouth to shut her up and the other," I groaned. "I was suppose to tutor him but he didn't want to. He wanted to fail."

I was livid when I was complaining. I do not understand how people didn't want to learn anything. Was it because they motivations just slip away from them or what? Ever since I got home from managing detention I felt like what Billy was doing wasn't a good enough excuse. He should learn how to pull himself together and focus on getting his diploma. He's made it this far into his senior year. He shouldn't turn back now. Not when he has a few more weeks until he graduates.

"I know, lil one." Evelyn soothed. "But you gotta understand that not everyone wants to be in school, like you."

I sighed a stressful breath. "He has some of his brain. I'm sure he knows how to use it." I complained. "You know what." I started.

"Oh, boy," I heard Evelyn mutter under breath on the other line but I simply ignored it.

"Tomorrow I'm gonna make him use it. I'm gonna talk to him about his problems then focus on the main goal." I briefly stated but I could sense Evelyn shaking her head without seeing her.

"Kristal," She said in a soothed tone. "I think you should just go into Mister Grime's office tomorrow and tell her you're resigning as the detention teacher. You're becoming stressed over these students."

"I'll be fine, Evelyn. I was okay on the first day. It was only a few minor bumps in the road." I shrugged.

"I said the same thing before. Then I came home bawling to my husband. Those kids are monsters, and they will tear you up emotionally, darlin'." Evelyn's muffled voice said.

"Just," I stammered. "Can I think about this a bit longer? It was only the first day, and not all first days are easy." I begged to Evelyn.

There was a moment of silence on her end. I could tell she was either rolling her eyes or grumbling to herself or her husband with her hand over the receiver.

"Evelyn," I said, grabbing her attention to see if she was there.

Again, there was a pause.

"Evelyn, if Billy doesn't cooperate tomorrow in detention," I trailed off. I stayed quiet so I could get a reaction from her.

"Go on." She said.

"Then I'll resign." I struggled to get the words out. I didn't want to resign. It was in my nature to help people. Even talking about giving up on someone like Billy makes my confidence shoot to the floor.

"Swear it?" Evelyn questioned in the stern tone.

I took a short second the clarify my choices. If I were to change my mind then what would that mean for Billy?

What was I thinking?

Of course I knew what would happen to him. He wouldn't graduate high school. I felt like slapping myself in the face for getting into such a mess. I hate that he would have to be left behind in his graduating class all because of him losing the motivation to achieve his goal. I have to make him change his mind tomorrow. I just have to. I don't know how, but the only way I knew was that I would have to convince him. Somehow and someway.

"I swear." I told Evelyn.

"Good." She mumbled in return.

For the rest of the phone call I kept thinking about Billy, but it wasn't because of his gorgeous facial features or his seemingly toned body. It was because of his future. If I didn't help him then that would mean I would be letting him down. I didn't want to think about letting him down at all. I wanted to think about him succeeding and getting his high school degree like everyone else.

Although I did spend one day in detention with him I could tell he wasn't happy where he was at. I didn't learn much about him except for his name and how much he hates being at school. But I could tell he wasn't happy due to his lack of interest and the morbid tone in his voice when he spoke to me.

When the phone call between me and Evelyn ended I headed upstairs to go to my bedroom so I could get a good nights rest. Without a care in the world, I entered my bedroom but a figure sitting on the bed caught me by surprise.

"Steve!" I hissed once I recognized the full head of brown hair.

He was digging through my nightstand. He gave me a side eye glance but carried on with his search.
"Where have you been? I needed help finding something." He grumbled.

"I signed up to do detention for the rest of the year." I knitted my eyebrows at him. "What're you doing in my room?"

"Well, since I'm suppose to be in my room doing my homework like the little angel our parents think I am, I need a pencil." He stated.

"But everywhere I look it's always books, tampons," He cringed. "Or pens. No pencils." He scoffed at the end.

He pushed back the drawer of my nightstand and looked at me. "Misses Click wants my research paper in pencil, and not pen this time." He rolled his eyes.

"Check my bag downstairs." I gestured towards my door with my hand. "I always have extra."

He didn't waste any time getting out of my room. After leaving, I closed the door behind him to give myself some privacy. Once the two clicks were heard by my ears I went towards my wardrobe to undress and search through it to find my nightclothes.

After finding my white pajama set I quickly undressed and started putting on my bed clothes. Afterwards I exited my room to used the bathroom so I could wash my face and do what any normal being does in the bathroom.

After ridding myself of my oily, fading makeup, I pulled my dark hair into a short and frayed ponytail. In that moment I was finally comfortable on the outside but on the inside I felt disappointed.

I could only think of Billy and how I felt like I was guilty for letting his future wash away like the dust in the air.

I felt like nothing could prepare me for what was going to happen tomorrow. My heart felt like it was dropping into my stomach by the mere thought of telling him.

I went to bed that night with him in my head. I could imagine the frown on his face. It was the same one he wore when I first talked to him earlier today. I tried to imagine him smiling but I was too focused on the bad to even think about the good. No matter how good I hoped it would turn out, I couldn't force him to accept my help.

The decision was all to him. None of it was in my power. I just hope he does the right thing and benefits greatly from it.