Episode VIII Rise of the Dark Jedi

Uneasiness

The rain had stopped and sunlight was beginning to peek through the clouds. The streams of rainwater were still rushing down the steep slopes of the mountainous island. Rey sat quietly in her stone hut, her legs folded and her arms resting on her lap. She meditated as Luke had instructed her, seeking peace and guidance from the Force, a practice she found difficult. Action was one thing. Movement, searching, struggle--these were the essences of life that she was used to; but meditation, stillness, contentment--these were as foreign to her as water to a womprat. Still, she tried.

She desired to master her abilities for reasons that were her own. In some way, she thought that learning these skills, would aid in her search for her parents and maybe even for the Resistance. How?  She did not know, but there was a sense that this was the path she belonged on. But again, these thoughts flooding her mind, distracted her from reaching out to the Force. 

She realized the mental trap and became frustrated. The frustration discouraged her more; it became another feeling to be mindful of and to put aside. That frustration filled her with hopelessness that she would never get her feelings under control, which led to anger with herself: distraction to frustration, to hopelessness, to anger. She opened her eyes in despair, the natural final state. With a sigh, she got up to get some fresh air. 

She was eager to move on to something she could have more success at, like saber fighting, or Jedi mind tricks.  She had already had some experience with those techniques before finding Luke Skywalker.

The sun felt good after that wet night. She took a moment to let it warm her face. Then she started for Luke's hut. There were no doors on the stone huts, just deep rounded openings facing down the mountain so rainwater that blew in would flow back out. Rey cautiously entered his hut, her hand on the side of the archway as she peered in.

Luke was meditating facing away from the doorway. He was not sitting upright in normal Jedi meditation but was leaning over his folded legs. His arms were stretched out and touching the lightsaber that Rey had brought him when she arrived. It was his father's lightsaber, Anakin Skywalker who later became Darth Vader, the ominous Sith Apprentice of the Emperor, Darth Sidious.

Luke was obviously meditating, but just as obviously he was in distress. His arms tensed, and deep breathing betrayed that he was breaking his own instruction on meditation.

Rey watched silently for a moment. Then Luke slowly sat upright and calmed his breathing, the stale air seeming to lift as he did so.

"Sit down, Rey," he said without looking to her.

She came in and sat beside him erect.

"That hardly looked like peaceful meditation," Rey began.

"It was not."

"What was it then?"

"Battle with the past and the future: the things we cannot change, and the many possibilities that we fear."

Rey knew exactly what he meant. "I wish we could change the past and order the future."

Luke said nothing. Rey could see him reaching out with the Force, hoping for something, but she could not guess what. The silence was uncomfortable.

A little impatient, Rey said, "You have been teaching me about letting go. What about the rest? I cannot fight the First Order with meditation."

"I was not going to train any more Jedi before you came," he said quietly.  "But, I--" his voice choked.

"I know about Han Solo's son, Kylo Ren," Rey said. She began to feel as if the two of them were having separate conversations.

"What do you know?" he replied.

"That he was one of your students, and then he betrayed you to follow the dark side."

"Ben was one of my students, one of many; but he did not just betray me. He was deceived by the dark side and led many other of my students to the dark side as well. Those that did not side with him they killed. They killed them all; he and his knights as he called them. It was then that he started calling himself Kylo Ren."

"Did you fight him?" Rey asked.

"Yes, but I would not kill him."

Rey surprised said, "What? Why not! Look at what he has done. If only you had killed him, you would have saved the lives of many."

"That is not the way of the Force, Rey," Luke said.

"So the way of the Force is to run away and do nothing?" Rey snapped.

"Trusting in the Force stayed my hand. Ben still has good in him. For reasons I do not know he was meant to live." Luke responded calmly. "For reasons I do not understand you were brought to me as well."

"So that you can teach me how to stand on rocks, sit in a hut, and get struck by lightning."

"I will not fail again," Luke sighed. "You want to know the ways of the Force, first you must learn these things. Without them, you will fall into darkness."

"While the galaxy falls into darkness," she shot back sardonically.

"Your anger and fear get the best of you. Be wary," he warned.

She stopped short and reluctantly recognized the truth in what Luke said. Her emotions often got away from her without her perceiving it. She calmed herself and tried to set them aside.

"Forgive me, Master Luke," she said. "I am afraid for my friends. I am angered at my helplessness here. It feels like I am back on Jakku . . . waiting for my parents who never came."

Luke looked away for a second and then turned back to her.  "It's okay, Rey," he comforted and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You do not give yourself enough credit. It is your history that makes you who you are. Do not be so sure that it was without purpose, and do not be so sure that you are helpless."

Although kind, his eyes betrayed a hint of uneasiness, which Rey perceived.

"You are not being completely honest with me," she said.

Again he did not respond directly to her comment. "It is time for me to take you to the temple. You want further training."