Renard dangereux

CHAPTER: 7

Over the course of a few days he started to improve, by that point he could actually kill, hunt and gather without being noticed. Matthew woke up earlier than usual and started packing a lot, I woke up.

"Morning to you too."

"Oh sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"What are you doing?"
He stopped, there was a long pause.

"We need to talk. So you know why I came here in the first place?"

I realised, he didn't have to finish, but I let him.

He continued, "well, it's been two months and now I have to go home, but-"

This was too much, I cut him off.

"Fuck you."

"Roxy, please."

I howled, "No you don't get to that, you don't get to leave me. Not like everyone else did."

"Roxy!"

I pushed him, with each push I hissed, "you. Don't. Get. To. Leave. Me!"

He grabbed my hands and shoved me back, I fell.

My eyes burned with tears, he knelt to me, "I'll come back."

I didn't even bother getting up, I just rolled away from him.

"Roxy, this is hard for me too. Don't make it harder."

I got up, "I'll walk you."

"What?"

"I'll walk you to wherever you need to be."

"Okay, but I can't have you seen."

"Okay."

We started walking, "there's a 'no man's land' path we can walk on so that we don't get killed by others."

"Okay, we'll take it."

We walked out and grabbed some cauliflower to eat, neither of us spoke. We walked through the most populated area and along the top of the hill by the mountain. It was still quiet. The hills were the longest, there was no shade, next to no water and no food. It was also dangerous, there are some who group up to steal from travellers. The Sukas would often move into this area to steal food and whatever other materials they could. The hills were surrounded by forest, a small part of that forest belongs to the foxes, my people. The mountains behind that belongs to the billy goats or billies if you live nearby. We were heading toward the most dangerous part, it would take days to get past the mountains.

No one had said anything for hours, "the hills are dangerous, it'll take a couple of days." I could barely even speak to him.

I continued, "There's a lot of thieves, murderers, kidnapers and so on, we to make a safety plan, especially for nights."

"Okay."

He really wasn't interested in conversation, but if we wanted to survive we had to communicate. The silence was painful, the heat was painful, the scenery was painful. The silence was awkward and I hated it, neither of us knew what to say or even if it was the right time to speak. The sun was hot and heavy on my body, Matthew was burning a bit. The rest of the journey was staring at the same forest, the same set of hills, the same sky and the same mountains behind us. It was unbelievably boring. So boring that I almost tripped spacing out. I hated every minute and every step of this journey.

The sun started going down, the sunset was nice and the cool air that came with it was nice. I watched it go down and bring warm colours, I watched the moon rise and the stars come out.

I took the lead again, "we should grab some firewood."

"Yeah."
We walked down a hill started collecting sticks varying in size that were old and dry grass. Matthew had a lighter handy on him, we set the middle part of the dry grass alight then I folded it over and blew on it to control it. Once it was properly on fire we put it over a dirt patch on top of some sticks, then added bigger ones. It was a long and slow process, but the fire would bring us security from the cold and other curious animals and insects. The downside is that it attracts Sukas, which brings danger.

I hoped, "don't have food and water on you by any chance?"

"More than enough."

He started cooking it up, I just stared into space. The smells and sounds of cooking filled our silence, but for me it wasn't enough to kill it. I wanted conversation, I wanted connection, I wanted him to stay. He couldn't and I didn't want to him to feel bad about going, he was needed at home.

After we ate, we devised a plan, he would stay up for the first 6 and I would stay for the last 6. I didn't sleep well, it took me a while to sleep and then I couldn't stop waking up. I decided to pretend I was asleep until it was my turn. Matthew came and woke me up, we switched straight away and I sat by the fire. He fell asleep nearly straight away, after a while I got bored and stole his notebook for amusement (with every intention of returning it). I flicked through it slowly and read his notes, they were good. I turned a page to see a drawing of me bathing in the lake, he was a good drawer too. I kept looking, there were more of me, sleeping, hunting, washing my clothes and even just sitting around. It made kind of happy and I felt warm, until it came back to me, that he was leaving and probably forget about me. By the time I finished flicking back and forth through his notebook the sun was coming up and it was time to return it. I don't understand why it hurt so bad looking through his notebook.

The sun was coming up, it was misty and cold. I couldn't have imagined how foggy and cold the mountains would be, that meant my home would've been foggy as well. It was winter and time for Matthew wake up too, despite it being a bit dark.

I ran my hand down his shoulder gently, "Matthew, wake up."

He got up slowly, "morning. Who wakes you up like that?"
"Dad."
"You miss him?"

"Can we not right now?"

"Sorry."

"Let's go."

I grabbed some soil to put the fire out and we left, the beat our feet synchronised along with the beat of our hearts. The silence crept in after a few hours, but I couldn't take it.

I broke it, "you looking forward to going home?"

"I guess."

"Right."

Silence again, as our feet hit the ground.

He broke it this time, "I miss my mates."

"You would."

Silence, because neither of us wanted this small talk, but the real stuff is too hard to talk about.

Matthew gave me his jacket suddenly, after a while of walking in the cold.

He drifted closer to me and took off his jacket, "I can't watch you shiver any longer."

He wrapped his jacket around me, it was too big. He finished, "you keep it."

I stared at him, "umm...thanks." I didn't know what to do or say, he surprised me. My body moved before I could even think, I leaned closer to him and he put his arm around me.

I whispered to myself, letting him hear my thoughts, "why do you have to go? I'll miss you so much."

His eyes flickered to me. He knew I wanted him to hear, without response. We walked staring at the same hills, the same forest, under the same sky. The only difference was that there was no mountain behind us. The hours passed and I'd taken off his jacket, it was comfortably quiet this time. It was mid day and warming up, still no talking.