- 7 months later -
hero and i got an acting job together. i am still a mess, i am still broken, i am still torn, i am still me. we're in a movie, after. we've nearly finished the tour. we are in the last country; france.
we have a spare day free to do what we like, so hero has told me that we're going somewhere. i don't know where but i'm gonna go because yeah. where else would i go?
i am constantly tired. oh and uhh.. i'm six months free, since i last harmed. i cut after i had the baby, i stopped after hero found out. he wouldn't stop talking about how it's not good for me and that i can get ill or an infection. i don't care hero, thanks for caring more than i do but i don't care if i die. i don't need to be here, no one needs me, no one depends on me - yet alone relies on me for anything. well hero might say that he does, he'll live without me. oh and i was also clinically diagnosed with depression and i take medication for it - it helped me. that and therapy. when i take my medication, some days i feel high, some days i'm at my lowest. i go to the therapist every wednesday but since we started filming the movie, i felt happier. i made new friends, i have more people. i am no longer on my own.
i'm wearing a blue playsuit, a navy blue. it's a lace type material and i've paired it with some black chelsea boots and my leather purse. i let my hair flow naturally, i just ruffle it - giving it volume to make it look defined. after about twenty minutes, i finally decide with my leather purse.
hero is waiting for me downstairs, he left the hotel room before me to get me a drink. i grab my phone and hotel keys and lock the hotel door. walking down the hallway to the lift, i hear someone whistling. i look over my shoulder and it's some dirty old man, so i keep walking. when i get to the lift, i repeatedly press the button to somehow speed up the lift. once i am in the lift, i check if i look good. i look fine i guess, i take out a chapstick from my purse - running it across my lips.
hero is standing downstairs with my coke in his hand, i walk behind him and put my hands over his eyes and giggle.
"i know it's you jo" he chuckles
i remove my hands from his eyes, crossing my arms and pouting.
hero hands me the coke and i take a sip from it.
"want some?" i ask, as he takes my hand in his
hero shakes his head.. oh yeah he doesn't like coke.
"mr tiffins?" the taxi driver says.
the two of us get into the car, i have no clue where we are going.
