dear love of my life,
today was the best day i've had since it happened.
we took the day off of work.. the two of us.
and i finally let you in.
i finally told you everything;
how i was feeling
how you hurt me
how i wanted to die
but you comforted me.
i am one day free from hurting myself.
the cuts on my arms are starting to scab up.
thank you for bandaging them for me,
you really do know me better than anyone else.
"you're gonna pick at them jo, let me" you said
yes, i will pick at them because i want to feel the pain.
i hope that i can make it two days pain free.
i fell asleep in your arms again, it felt so foreign.
the feeling of having you hold me was so forgotten.
hero, you are the love of my life.
you apologised today, way too many times.
thank you for the apologies.
it still doesn't make it okay; that you made me want to end my life.
i was so close to doing it.
i was so close to ending my life because you were not in it.
i became so attached to you - physically and mentally.
the thought of not having you in my life made me want to do it more.
one thing was stopping me though; you.
- josephine
