The Path Of Hope: Part 1

Prologue

      I was in the mall that day... All I could think of was how happy I was to be out on my own for once so I didn't have to move around so much. That was the reason I was at the mall actually, to look for a job. My mom passed away when I was fifteen and left me with a house AND car along with the money to pay for it but sadly I couldn't have access to it until I finished college. I smiled at that thinking since she died of cancer, that was her way of making sure I kept my promise. Looking back at that moment, as she was on her death bed, made me tear up:

Flashback:

      I just got home from school expecting my mom to be there but instead, my dad was on the couch in tears making me think the worst. She promised she'd fight to make it to my school play tonight since I was the lead. It was Roger's and Hammerstein's Cinderella by the way and that was a HUGE deal to me and her since we both loved the movie with Brandy and Whitney on top of the fact I was nervous as hell to be not just acting but singing in front of the whole school. Only my mom could help calm my nerves and all I wanted was for her to be healthy enough, just for today, so she could be there and help me get ready. I even prayed on it but like they say, you don't always get what you want. For a moment as all of those thoughts were clouding my mind, I myself start to tear up as I think of the words to say to comfort my dad right now.

      "D-Daddy? She.. she isn't..." It wasn't easy; I just couldn't do it! How could anyone get those words out let alone accept them? All I could do since he didn't answer right away thinking she really was gone was cry. "No princess... not yet. She wants to see you first." What?! She was fine last night AND this morning when I left for school! I even had to be there early since we did one last rehearsal before classes started for the day. I couldn't and won't accept this; she was ok damn it and she's gonna be at my play tonight! I won't be able to do this without her! "NO! How did it get that bad in one day?! She's supposed to see me tonight, she promised! And you know mom she never breaks one!" My dad nodded knowing how right I was but with cancer, promises are meant to be broken. I just wish it wasn't this one.

      "I know baby girl and I'm sorry. But I had to take her back to the hospital around lunch time and I couldn't come and get you since all of this made you miss so much school. Plus your mom insisted on it." "And what if she passed before I got home?! I wouldn't have had a chance to say bye to her!" I wasn't mad at either of my parents, I understood. I really did but I didn't want to lose my chance to say bye to my mom because I had school. "Mom knows that too, but how important is you graduating and going to college to her," dad asked pulling me in his arms for a tight hug. All that did was make my waterworks worse. "Really important because she wants me to make something of myself like she did before she met you," I replied barely getting the words out through my tears. "Exactly princess. Now let's get to the hospital to see her one last time ok? And no matter what I'll be there for you and we'll get through losing her together I promise."

      Knowing my dad, he was going to keep that promise and I didn't want to get to my mom when it was too late so I nodded and we headed out of the house together. We arrived fifteen minutes later and luckily, there my mommy was, a weak but obvious smile on her face when she saw us. I cried like a big baby all over again just when I stopped in the car and ran into her arms. "I'm here mommy. We both are." She weakly nodded wincing from the pain which hurt my heart to see her like this. "I know baby. That's why I insisted on the doctor taking me home to help you get ready and see your play tonight." Wait... WHAT?! "But mom-" "NO BUTS! I made a promise to you baby girl and I WILL keep it. Not even cancer can stop me! I'll come home just for tonight and then come back here."

      See... this is why I love her so much. She's the strongest woman I know and definitely a true fighter not knowing with how sick she is right now if tomorrow is guaranteed yet she's making this sacrifice for me. How could I live with myself though if I let her do this and she does die? What if her staying here actually saves her life and allows her to come to my next play? All of these 'What If' questions are playing in my head as my dad finally speaks saying he wasn't gonna let my mom do this. "Look, I paid the doctor for overnight at-home care and I've already made my decision. I wouldn't want to go knowing my daughter could hate me for not making it tonight when I promised!" Everyone in the room had tears on their faces, the three of us, the doctor and the nurses.

      We all knew that this was really mom fighting it and not accepting this was really happening to her. Obviously she's also putting me first which she always has as well. Suddenly everyone is looking at me waiting for my response. "Mommy I could never hate you. If anything, I'd know that you didn't go without fighting harder than you have since you got diagnosed just to be there for me. I really want you there but you're too sick and I don't want to risk it. Right now, to increase your chances to get better I'd want you to stay here." She's made so many sacrifices for me already, I had to make this one for her. "But-" "Mom, I didn't finish," I say with a smile on my face as I grab my purse. That confused everyone in the room including her but I was about to fix that.

      With one hand movement showing my mom's make-up bag, and mine which I grabbed before I left for school, she smiled too. "You didn't think I was gonna come here and not let you keep your promise did you? Just because you won't be at the play doesn't mean you won't be there in spirit and if you help me get ready, we meet in the middle." My mom hugs me tightly, causing her tears to get all over my shirt but I didn't care. These final moments are what mattered the most. Around 6:30, I was ready, minus my first costume, and I took pictures with my dad, mom, and all three of us together. After that, my mom's face went pale and her blood pressure was dropping. Not rapidly, but we could see it was on the machine. "Princess, I need you to promise me something ok?" Right then, I knew this was the moment she was leaving me. If I didn't have water-proof make-up on it'd be ruined right now because I was a total mess.

      "Anything mommy I mean that. Anything." "Promise me you'll stay in school and finish college no matter what and that you'll make your dreams come true no matter how long it takes." Still crying, her blood pressure dropping faster as she speaks, I nod my head. "I promise. No matter what I'll do it for you." Now it was my dad's turn. "Look after her Christopher and be there for her like you always have been. She needs you; it'll be just the two of you now so don't let me or her down. I love the both of you more than you'll ever know." "I love you too Kae," my dad said. At that exact moment, both of us crying, I was saying "I love you too mom," loud enough for her to hear us both then she flat-lined.

Flashback Over

      With tears in my eyes and all over my face from crying so hard thinking about it, my vision was clouded as I walked causing me to bump into someone. "I'm so sorry; no I'M sorry," we both say at the same time causing us to laugh. "Really though, I'm sorry... I shouldn't be walking and crying," I say when the two of us get ourselves together from our short laugh fest. "It's cool and I should've been watching where I was going. Do you mind me asking why such a beautiful woman like yourself is so upset?" Of course, typical niggas who hit on vulnerable women. My dad taught me better than that and even though he had money himself, didn't give any to me wanting me to do what my mom did. He helps me out when I really need it though so I couldn't complain. He's honoring my mom. "Look, I'm not that girl ok? Try hitting on someone else," I grit through my teeth then start to walk away.

      "Wait! I didn't mean to make you more upset, I was just concerned. And I'm not trying to hit on you for the same reason most niggas would. You say you're not that girl, well I'm not that guy. Wanna give me a chance to prove it?" I don't know why, but something in me told me I should so I went for it. "Ok... ONE chance. I'm Hope by the way." Won't give his name away yet, but that moment changed everything for me. My life was turned upside down, but in a good way... for the most part. We all know how relationships are. Now it's my wedding day and I'm anxious and nervous at the same time to walk down the aisle. "You ready princess," dad asked, tears still in his eyes from when he saw me earlier for the first time. "I am. And even though mommy's not here, I know she's smiling down on us and she's here in spirit like she has been."

      That got a smile out him showing those dimples that I love on his freckled light-skin face. "That she is baby girl. Now let's go walk you down the aisle." I smile and nod taking his arm waiting for the music to begin. I bet you'd want to know what got me here first right? Well you're in luck. My dad, who I'm sure you'd figured out already, is Chris Brown and my mom is Kae. After she passed away, my dad gave me this journal that she left me telling the story of how they met to the saddest day of my life. For me to tell MY story I need to tell theirs. With that said, let me start at the beginning...