Edward Cullen: Purse Snatcher

Lojack

I gulped and cleared my throat. "Handcuffs?" I questioned.

Bella laughed again and smirked teasingly. "Relax. I'll tell you all about the plan, but first, I'm curious…"

"About what?" I asked, walking toward the alley exit.

"What did you do that would warrant such retaliation?" Her eyes danced with curiosity.

I sighed heavily and smirked before answering. "My buddy and I welded their car doors shut."

"You did that?" she exclaimed, hunched with laughter. "Emmett spent almost a month climbing in through his window. Oh sweet Jesus, he even said that he did it on purpose, something about 'Dukes of Hazard.'"

I laughed; that would be an Emmett-like explanation.

"Okay, let me give you the four-one-one on my plan," she said huskily. Though that maybe was just wishful thinking on my part. Every word from her sounded sensual to me and my now-permanent hard on. Yeah, letting her walk ahead of me, which gave me a perfect view of her ass, hadn't been such a great idea.

"Edward," she said firmly.

I shook my head from its present path toward fantasizing when she repeated my name. I mumbled an apology and gestured for her to continue.

"First, are they expecting you to have my purse as proof?"

I nodded, which caused her beautiful smile to widen. Holy shit, she was a walking advertisement for Crest Whitening Toothpaste. Her lips were full and pouty over her perfect white teeth. I wondered for a few moments if she liked to bite, and if she liked to be bitten in return. Spiraling toward the gutter, I took a few deep breaths, trying to actually listen to what she was saying.

"…and when you stick your cock in my mouth, Jasper will…"

"What?" I spluttered through a sudden coughing fit.

Damn what part of the plan had I missed?

And then she was laughing again.

"You weren't exactly listening, Edward," she teased. "I was trying to get your attention."

"Sorry, momentarily dazzled."

Dazzled, Cullen? Really? Fuck, now she's probably wondering if I'm gay.

Bella cocked her head to the side, causing all her lovely hair to fall over her shoulder. "Does that happen often?" she asked.

"Um, it does now," I said dumbly.

She shrugged her shoulders and quickly turned away, blushing.

Wait, had I embarrassed her? Or had she liked my answer?

Fuck, I was totally useless with women.

"So do you still want to hear my idea?" She looked through her purse again, averting her eyes from mine.

"I do, but I have to ask. Why you did you insist on chasing me down the street?"

"I wanted my brick," she said with a teasing grin.

I laughed at her absurdity. "Okay, now I have to know why you're carrying a brick in your purse."

"Oh, I'm paving a walkway in my backyard," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Then please continue telling me the details of your elaborate plan."

She smiled and handed me her purse. "First, take this and show the guys that you succeeded."

I realized the second I'd taken the purse from her that I was going to look like a complete ass carrying that thing around.

"Okay, they both know that I don't carry my cell phone in my pocket, so you'll have to take that, too." She stepped closer to me and dropped her phone in her purse.