disclosure [l.h]

thirty-nine

SIX HOURS LEFT

Six hours left was all I had before I officially leave the country for six months - that is if I make it. Our house was completely empty apart from some paintings that came along when we first bought it, there were left over glue tacks and tape still on my wall, reminiscing the old posters that have gone up since I was small. Ms Hemmings (or Liz) came by to the house to help mom sweep and clean the house or in other words just lounge around drinking coffee and reading old stacks of magazines gushing over house furnitures and decorations.

I was sat down in the hammock (they haven't taken it down yet) and just thinking about how different life would be if I wasn't around, would they miss me? Would they even think about me? I was sure that they would move on pretty quickly, if I died I wouldn't want them to even mourn about to, I wouldn't even want them to cry. I could see Liz walking over to me and she gracefully sat next to me, she handed me a cup of tea and I couldn't say no.

We sat in silence before she decided to speak up, "I know we never had a really great start or even had a start at all but I just wanted to thank you for making my son happy, he hasn't been for a while and when you showed up, he completely changed." Her words broke my heart, if only she knew how much Luke had changed me.

"I'm glad I could help," I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I'm sorry I never got the chance to talk to you because I was really terrified you wouldn't like me after I ran out like that the last time, but thank you Ms. Hemmings, for not being so harsh on me.
"

She nudged me slightly, giggling, "Call me Liz."

"Thanks Liz," I corrected myself, "You can call me Lizzy if you want to, I don't want to steal your name."

"I just want you to know, Luke really does love you. Despite all the things he has done - which I do know by the way, he tells me everything. He looks 'punk rock' as he would call it but really, he's a momma's boy and everyone knows it." She said, butterflies in my stomach again. "Before you came, he was rundown, he wouldn't speak to me, he would get drunk all the time, smoke whatever his friends gave him and just stopped living, if that's how you put it. His brother has been trying to contact him for months now but he refused and slowly when you came into his life, he's patching up. He's trying to complete himself again."

Guilt, I felt guilt creeping through each and every part of skin, how could I leave him when things were just being fixed for him? "I never knew that," I whispered to myself but Liz had heard.

"He never told you?" She gasped, surprised.

I shook my head and she shrugged, "After the whole Amber incident, he just lost himself and he was about to lose his life but if it wasn't for the three boys and his fans, I honestly don't think he'd still be here with us today." I looked up at Liz who had shed a few tears and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm not going to lie," I sighed, "Luke has made me go on a roller coaster ride of emotions but I think I love him too Liz, I really do. I just can't say it y'know? It's hard. I don't know why I can't."

"But you just did," She beamed, "You think you love him, you just said it."

My eyes widened at the thought of what I just said, "But it's no point now, I'm leaving so soon, four hours to be precise."

"He told me he'd wait for you," Liz took my hand, "You really are good for him Lizzy, I'm so thankful you came into his life."