Chapter 15

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The next few days were quite slow. I had a million exams, along with the many people bothering me. I was really busy, and it made no sense. Like, math didn't make sense. It just didn't add up! See what I did there? No...? OK...

Niall and me were drifting apart slowly, and it was depressing. Me and Luke however were slowly getting closer. Not really though.

Constantly, I'd be getting headaches. They would last all day long, and all week. And, the Tylenol wouldn't work anymore. It had just worn out, and that made the headaches way worse. It was more of sharp pains though. I'm pretty sure I need to go to the doctor. It's probably stress, and depression causing it.

Right now, I'm at school. And hopefully, today will go by quick. I'm sick and tired of school, literally too! I would come so close to falling asleep in class.

I started doodling a random grape vine on the margin of my paper, adding flowers, and circles. English was so boring!

Mrs. Hudson, kept going on and on. She walked around like a T-Rex. That was only pointed out to me in first period. I recalled Kat talking to me.

"Ugh. Next I have English." She groaned, and leaned back in her seat.


I just laughed at her, "Sucker!"


"It's not fair! She walks like a T-Rex, and put a period after every word when she's talking." Kat went on. Now that I had actually thought about it, it was true... Goodness. *facepalm* Thanks for breaking the bubbled, Kat. Note the sarcasm. Once you break the bubble, there is no going back. Like, if there is an annoying habbit somebody does and you don't notice it until somebody tells you, that's breaking the bubble. And, there is no going back, once it is popped.


Legit, huh?

"Tessa, have you ever gone through a hard or rough time?" Mrs. Hudson questioned me.

We were talking about Lewis and Clark, Legson Kayira, and The Buffalo Jump. They were all about different traits, in a way, but they all worked hard... My teacher liked to call it an 'Epic Journey'. Lewis and Clark traveled I suppose the unexplored places of the United States, as Legson Kayira traveled all the way from Africa to United States for a good education, as the Buffalo Jump the Indians lead the Buffalo's to jump of the edge of a small hill so they could eat and get the things they needed. 

(A/N: You're very welcome. I just gave you a small lesson... o;)


She wants us to write an essay of how we have accomplished many hard things.

I thought about this for a second before saying, "I don't know." I couldn't really think of anything, I mean I really don't work that hard in anything I do. Not that I can think of.

"There has to be something!" Mrs. Hudson pressured me.

"I don't know..." I shrugged, "I guess being bullied and getting through it is a hard task?"

"You are definitely right."

I smiled. I guess that was a hard task. And, it was getting easier to talk about my past. I leaned back in my seat, satisfied.

-

I got home, and walked up to my room. I sat down on my bed, pulling out my binder. I looked through the many assignments, I had yet to do.

First I would start on algebra. I didn't quite understand it... Why did I have to grow up so fast? It wasn't fair. If I was little then I'd be working on four plus four! But, noooo! I just had to grow up.

I finished the homework and moved on to the reading portion of English. I didn't really like reading, but it was easier than the essay.

I picked up a small book, it was a quote-ish book.

I turned to the first page, ignoring the contents.

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love."

This made me think quite a bit...

I turned a couple dozen pages, not wanting anymore of those kind of quotes.

"Without doubt, guilt is one of the most self-destructive of human emotions. Guilt simply has no other purpose other than to make the individual seriously unhappy. Guilt is a big, big part of stress, anxiety and depression and learning how to deal with it is important. Guilt arises out of a feeling of remorse or regret for something you either did or didn't do. It is a no-win deal if you indulge it because you're always damned if you do or damned if you don't. No matter what you do, guilt will always beat you up about it. I speak from personal experience here because guilt made my life an absolute misery for 5 years until I learned how to kick it out of my life. When you eliminate guilt from your life, you'll feel like a millstone has been lifted from your neck."

What is up with these stupid quotes?! They aren't stupid, they just make you think about what you are doing with you life. My mind reminded me. Whatever.

I flipped a couple more dozen pages.


"Take the first step in faith, you don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." Martin Luther King.


This made me think, if I could just do this little tiny step maybe I'll get farther.

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." Dale Carnegie


"The difference between can and cannot are only three letters. Three letters that will determine your life's direction." Remez Sasson



"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Confucius


"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." Michael Jordan


I closed the book. This encouraged the headache in my head to only get worse. I laid down on the bed, and fell asleep soon after.


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