Unbearable Weight of Leaves

The First Date

Author's Note

This one ended up being longer than I thought and I decided to put it up without much editing, so I hope it reads ok.  I am just so excited to get to the next chapter-- The ending of Leaves!  I am already working on Ink while I am at work and plotting out the beginning of it.  As always, comments/reviews make my day and serve to inspire <3

Kisarei

Kankuro burst into the room waving around a mess of red, waving it around in front of him. "Got it!" He smiled at me. He seemed way too happy with himself and I had a sinking feeling.

That color looked way too familiar to me. "You got what?" I knew my suspicion ebbed into my voice and my smile faltered. I had a bad feeling about this.

His smile became more obvious. "A gift from Temari."

It felt as though the world fell from beneath me. Hair. I knew it looked familiar. Before I could say anything the thing was launched at me and I caught it. It was a complete and utter mess. What the hell?

"Well, what is it?" Chuyo went to reach for it and I moved it away from her.

Mine. I wasn't fond of it, but right now I didn't have a lot to call my own and I had a tendency to be a bit possessive of my stuff no matter how irrational it was. I sighed and twirled the thing in my hands, trying to figure out where the opening was. "From Temari huh?" There, I could feel the edge of the fabric that kept the wig together. I grabbed hold of it and shook it a bit in an attempt to make it look more like it was supposed to. I started to brush the hair out with my hand, creating some kind of part to it so it started to look more like what it was meant to be. A wig.

Why would he want to give this to me now? "Never thought I'd see this thing again." The last time was when Temari wanted me to fool Shikamaru into thinking I was someone from Suna. It worked though. I froze. Oh. Well shit. My stomach lurched and I curled in onto myself to try and get it to settle. I gripped onto the damned wig. Mine. It all made sense now. This wasn't just for some dinner downstairs in some crazy outfits for whatever they had planned. This was going to be out in public. This wig... This wig was meant to be permanent. How much more? How much more of myself was I going to have to change? Wasn't it enough I gave up Kurama, my manhood, my family, my village and my legs? Now I had to give up my hair too?

Of course I had to. I remembered how I looked in my clone's eyes. I was still me. Too obvious, right? I took a deep breath and forced myself to be ok with this. I had to be ok with this. It was just hair anyway, right? I looked up to the man I was doing this for. He was staring at me, his face holding the still porcelain blank I had become accustomed to. I gave him as big a smile as I could. I felt a bit numb yet, but I just wanted him to know I was going to be ok with it. I will be.

I promise.

I felt my lip falter some but I fought to hold the smile. He probably could see right through it, but I didn't want him to worry about it. We were moving forward, right? This stupid wig was just part of it.

His mouth moved and I swear he might have said 'sorry' but I wasn't sure. The idea he didn't like having to do this only made my resolve to wear it grow. This wasn't his fault. Would never be his fault. Chuyo came and started to help me with the wig and his eyes drifted away from me. My heart sank. This hair was just another thing to move me away from the person I once was. I wanted to scream at him. Damn it Gaara, look at me, really look at me. I watched him as the wig was fitted to my head, then brushed out. He was stiff, even for him. When Chuyo finally stepped away from him, I voiced it. "Hey, will you look, it's done already."