Unbearable Weight of Leaves

Separation Anxiety pt 2

Author's Note

Hi everyone, the second half of the chapter :D I knew it would be a long one so I broke it up. Finally, it feels like I can move this forward again. So much to fit in for this part yet, I think it will end up longer than the first one lol.

As always, reviews/comments serve to inspire

Gaara

I sat in the diner alone with Kimi as I waited for Shinki to return. I had her nestled between myself and the wall, secured in a sand made bassinet I had situated on the bench next to me. She slept while I sipped at my tea and tried to ignore the people within the diner, and the waitress who both dropped things and messed up orders. I watched her a while from the corner of my mind, slightly amused by her antics.

I still wasn't sure about the whole idea of getting Naruto a dress. Why in the world would he want one? She. Never mind, I don't care anymore. I have never known him to be into feminine things for more than a few moments. I frowned into my tea as the whispers of the customers who were sitting around me invaded my ears, either unsettled or in awe of my presence within this place. Their Kazekage, in a civilian diner unannounced. This place was not as crowded as I thought it would be, close as it was to the gate entrance of the underground and it was at least away from the market, which I know I would not have the ability to tolerate. I wondered if the bumbling waitress was accident prone because of me, or because she just was not any good at what she was doing.

I swirled the liquid in the cup as I tried to remember anything which might set him in more of a feminine way besides the obvious physical transformation and there were barely any memories which I could recall where he seemed that way to me. Only one. Not long after the incident near the market they tried to assassinate me, and I was going to let them, when Naruto intervened again. I had been avoiding my siblings at this point, trying to keep to myself. Death at this point was more interesting to me than living. What use could I be alive? I was too dangerous, even I knew this.

Yet.

I sipped at the tea, allowing my eyes to wander upwards to the eyes which were all settled upon me in a stare. Many of them moved away from me when I looked up and I sighed.

Monster.

Kazekage.

I was both of these things in one and over time I managed to garner their affection. Perhaps, just perhaps I managed to become precious to them. Most of them. I know there are many still in Suna who could never forgive me for the things I had done, and I would never ask them to. I would have to forgive myself for them before I could allow something as this.

How could I? I still took too much pleasure in death. I would have to feel badly about such an act before forgiveness could occur. Not until I no longer felt the surge of pleasure when blood soaked into my sand, until I stopped craving the taste of blood upon my lips, to feel their screams vibrate through my body. The odd, satisfying crunch as...

People started to leave the diner and I looked back down into my tea. Thoughts of killing might not be the best idea when dining with civilians. I covered my face with my hand, hoping to hide whatever expression may have slipped through. I tried to tune out the outside noise and stared into my tea, allowing the memory of Naruto to surface.

"Hey Gaara!" His voice sounded from below my perch in the tree near where we were camping for the night.

I didn't look down, I knew he would come to me, and I felt the odd nervous twist in my stomach as he neared. I still wasn't sure what it meant. Perhaps it was because he was my friend. Was this normal when you have friends? I am not sure I liked it.