Unbearable Weight of Leaves

Speechless

Author's Note

After some thought I decided to split this in two because the end of this just feels right to me here. It was already over 6,000 words where I split it, and I chopped off about 2,000 when I realized if I kept going, this very well could have been my longest chapter yet. Just so much going on! This is already getting long, so I may have to expand my total book count to 5 just so I don't end up with a 100 chapter book on my hands with this one lol, the only problem with that is I have no idea what I would call it.

Alright, enough of my blabbering, I hope you enjoy this chapter :D

Gaara

No matter how much I tried to work out different scenarios, every last one of them ended in disaster. Kimi would get upset and I would become a single father. Maybe. Probably. I disliked the possibility of it. I tapped my pen on my binder. Was there not a way to get Kimi adjusted to her mother? I looked at the child sleeping in a sand bassinet on the edge of my desk. "It would be easier if you could understand me." I frowned at her. At only three months of age, it was highly doubtful I could just ask her civilly not to cry and she actually follow the order.

I sighed. Twelve scenarios, twelve disasters. Twelve different ways Kimi would become upset and activate her ability. I had sent in the notice to the council informing them of this development and was still awaiting their reply. They were likely trying to figure out how to handle the situation. If they were ignorant enough to try and repeat the same mistakes they made with me, I would grind their bones until nothing remained of them.

There was also my other issue. I eyed the letter I had been sent from Konoha. I hadn't opened it yet. I had sent three letters. Three letters and two of them were personal. The other dealt with a manner which was political, yet still was personal because it may deal with the culprits who attempted to murder my wife and daughter. Very personal. None of these three things was anything I desired to deal with at the moment.

Temari leaves tomorrow. I had to look at the letter. What if it were the political one and they needed a spare team from Suna? It would make more sense to send a team out with Temari, and they could get briefed on the expectations for working so closely with a foreign nation on a single goal. I closed my binder. My list of possibilities was impossible. For once, I had no ideas of how to make this work. I had messed up by keeping Kimi to myself. There was no way to know Kimi would react in such a way, especially with her own mother. She had nursed, she technically had contact. Yet...

My stomach twisted. Was it me? She had become accustomed to Shinki and Temari, she also was able to be with Shikamaru, but she was still so little. Other than the few times I needed them to watch her, I was there. I was always there, holding her, I was near.

Was it because I was not near?

It was possible. I felt my lips twitch upward. It was possible. I grabbed my book of possibilities and flipped it open to the page titled 'Getting Kimi used to her Mother' and scribbled down at the bottom '13 - Use myself as a buffer to ensure Kimi does not activate her ability'

I smiled at it. Then, I frowned. To use me as a buffer, would mean being close to Naruto, maybe even being alone with her. Such a task was impossible, at least for the two months it would take for the council to approve of my marriage to her. I shut my book again. I couldn't ask Naruto to just wait two more months until we were publicly wed to get anywhere near our Kimi.

Could I?

No, I couldn't. I shouldn't. It might have to be a possibility. I sighed. Of course, such a thing would hinge on the fact she would actually still want to marry me after everything. I wasn't sure Temari had explained to Naruto the sand had not been because of me. I wasn't sure if she would piece it together herself. If she had, she might even think I had intentionally sabotaged their meeting.