Unbearable Weight of Leaves

Transitions

Kisarei

I was a little dumbfounded. He actually came back with ice cream. This time it was a bit more of a simple vanilla, but hey, he showed up with it. What was with the ice cream anyway? I dipped my spoon and shifted. His eyes never left me. He was silent, holding onto my daughter from across the room. My muscles twitched with the desire to get her back into my arms. What happened earlier? Was he messing with me, or was it really her who moved all that? She was only three months old, was it even possible?

I opened my mouth to ask, but nothing came out. Instead I lifted the spoon to my mouth and started eating it. I had so much to say. So much to ask. So much to talk about. I couldn't bring myself to say any of it. I didn't know how to talk without being weird about it. Didn't know how to say anything without ending it in some rant. Sometimes when I spoke I couldn't stop myself from talking too much. Gaara was here. Finally, here, in the same room as me. Temari was looking awkward in the corner, eyeing both of us, but she too stayed silent.

Why in the hell was she even here in the first place? Not like I needed a babysitter just to see the guy, did I? My eyes widened and I ate another bite of ice cream, a bit too fast this time because it led to me getting a little brain freeze. I didn't care. I smiled the pain away and muttered out a thanks to him. He didn't show any sort of reaction to make it seem as though he even heard me. He just continued to sit there, expressionless, rubbing tiny circles on the back of the red haired baby in his arms.

She had his hair. So freaking tiny. Was he that tiny when he was born? I didn't get a long enough look at her before when the sand rose up and nearly smothered me. I may have stared at her a little too long because his eyes shifted away. I wanted to know her name. What's her name? The question was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't bring myself to ask it.

I studied the father of my child. Another thought came to mind, one I didn't want to think. If Gaara had seen the report, he had seen my dead body, well, my clone's body. Had he gotten it before he was told of my condition? Images of him laying on the ground in front of me, the air blowing through his hair giving false movement to an otherwise stiff body floated through my memory. Stiff. Cold. Rigor Mortis had already set in when I had found him, taken him back. I could still feel the pain of seeing him dead had created. Even now, so many years later, when I was here in the same room as him, married to him, it haunted me. If he had seen the file... In the picture, it was obvious I was dead. There was a giant hole blown in my abdomen and it was pretty obvious there was no way to treat it.

I looked away. Then, just as he thinks I am safe... The report about the hospital. Why? He never had time to deal with it. Never had a chance to process everything. It was all too quick, and now here I was permanently in his home, with a new life and baby which from what I could tell was a mini version of the guy. Well. I always did kinda wonder what he would look like as a chick. I snickered, guess we'll find out. At least I could see she was alive. Healthy as far as I could tell. She had all of her toes. All of her tiny fingers. Her eyes...

I looked back over to him. His eyes were back on me, the always eerie quality they held due to the lack of a pupil boring a hole inside of me. My heart raced. Damn, but he had the most beautiful eyes... What the hell am I thinking? I returned to the ice-cream. Spoon after spoon of ice cold headache inducing ice-cream. It wasn't long before I hit the bottom of the bowl and I stared into it. Gone. Now what? I had been using it as a buffer, but without it, would I have to talk to him? I wasn't sure I was ready.

"Done?"

I jumped at the sound of his voice and nodded to the question. Sand wrapped around my hands and I shivered. From Gaara, the sand was almost like touch and the bowl rose from my hands and landed in his. He stood and headed to the door.