Unbearable Weight of Leaves

Kimiko

Author's Note

Short and sweet this time. The next chapter will be all about Temari's arrival and the baby's naming ceremony so it should be longer. I just felt this one needed to end where it was, so I hope you all enjoy it.

As always, comments/reviews serve to inspire. :D

Gaara

I felt numb. Another two days had passed. Temari should be here today. I got a note which said she would. I didn't leave my room. The clone barely moved from his position in the corner. Naruto still hadn't woke. The baby fed every few hours like clockwork, and there was another need for a diaper change today.

Everything felt off. Feed the baby. Burp the baby. Eat something. Stare at Naruto while she slept. Sign random paperwork. Repeat the process. I was thankful the clone kept silent. I wasn't in the mood to speak. I wasn't in the mood to breathe, do work, eat or be personal. All which existed was me, the baby, Naruto and occasionally, I would stare at the clone who still wore the brown haired guise. In a way, I was thankful for this. It was disconcerting looking into a face which mirrored my own.

Feed the baby. Burp the baby. Eat something. Stare at Naruto as she slept. Five days. The baby is five days old now. Two more, and she will be a week. One more day, and the baby will be named. I gave a shaky breath as I fixated on my wife's face. We never spoke about names. We never spoke about expectations and ritual or...

Tomorrow the baby will have a name. With, or without my wife. It made my stomach turn. Acid rose in my throat at the thought. I gave Naruto a naming ceremony, in case. In case she would die. In case something like this would happen. I was still unprepared for it. I thought we would have time to talk about the finer details. Things like what to name her. Things like where we would like to raise her. Things like what to do if she inherited any of our abilities. The Uzumaki regeneration, my sand ability. What if she had both? What if she was born with trace amounts of Shukaku? With the marks, it was obvious she was born with some of the fox energy. Her birth answered the odd question which always floated through my mind. Was Naruto born with those marks? The other two offspring had partial markings - mere shadows compared to their father, but this little one, they were identical to hers. Deep, whisker marks etched into her skin.

I traced over them. She was asleep, for now. I made sure to be gentle with her. I hadn't worn sand on my hands or arms since she was born. I was afraid I would harm her. Scratch her soft, delicate skin with a stray grain of dense sand. I wanted to keep her innocent, pure.

What sort of ninja would she become? She was the daughter of two Kages, two jinchuuriki. Would she become stronger than either of us? Give Shinki someone to train to take over for- I frowned. No, it wouldn't be good to think this way. I already made my decision. Shinki would be the next Kazekage, whenever I felt the need to retire. When I was ninety. I had no desire to retire, not anytime soon. I spent more of my life as the leader of Suna, than I had as a regular shinobi. Before my run for the role, I was mad. Focused on blood, death and how much blood a person could remove from their bodies before they would die. I was fascinated by their screams, their helpless pleas for mercy and in the end for their death. It was amazing how much one would shift in a few hours from pleading for life towards the exact opposite.

A shiver run up my spine at the memories invading my mind. Faceless masses, twisting beneath me, a silent scream forever etched upon their memory. Here, holding my daughter, my lifeline to this reality and I still craved for this. No, I would not retire anytime soon. I needed this position, I needed this outlet to keep myself sane, keep myself in a position I could feed the need to kill. When needed, only when needed. I was no longer this person from my childhood.