Chapter 31
|Toronto "Rony" Andrews|
Tonight is another family night. The girls are supposed to be coming, but Cosmo pregnant ass doing more eating then cooking. She look like she about to pop any minute now.
"I wish y'all niggas learn to knock before just walking in my house." I said to Keith, Khail, and Diggy.
"Nigga you walk in my shit all the time like you pay bills there."
"Cause I'm the shit my nigga." I said.
"Nah you look like shit." Keith said. I mugged him.
"Nigga you ain't funny." I said.
"So why they laughing?"
"Cause I was bout to roast yo lemon squeeze head ass." I said.
"Hold that thought." He said walking away.
His punk ass.
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"Lil girl you are six years old what you know about having a boyfriend?" I asked my daughter. She gone ask for my phone talking about calling her boyfriend.
"Daddy I have a boyfriend." She said.
"Where he at? Cause on Monday I'm gone kill his ass. You don't have no boyfriend you don't even have friends that are boys. Do you understand me?"
"But daddy I love him." Oh hell nah.
"No the only niggas you love is me, you uncles, and cousins. You tell that little knotted peas in the back of his neck having ass lil boy you can't talk to no boys." I said. Keith ass was laughing. He only got a son. I have two girls and a boy.
"Ugh!" She huffed and puffed.
"Who you huffing and puffing at? Don't make me take my belt off. I will light your lil light red skinned ass up today. Have your mama planning an early funeral or posting my bail." I said. Everybody just thought this was so funny. I'm dead ass my six year old daughter not having no boyfriend, cuddle buddy, friends with be benefits, or husband.
"Gone fuck around and send her ass to an all girls Christian girl. Boyfriend my ass."
"Rony shut your dumb ass up." Adrian said. I looked at him.
"Okay when your daughter come to you saying she got a boyfriend let's see how you take it."
"Dwaddy what's a bwoyfriwend? I want bwoyfriwends too?" She said. See told you.
"Hell no! Boyfriend you a coloring book." He said. She got happy as hell.
"Man I'm glad I have a boy. I don't have to deal with all that."
"Daddy I got a girlfriend." Khail said. This shit a chain reaction.
"No you don't you better girlfriend your ass to you schoolwork. You don't need no lil fast tail ass girls knocking on my door looking for you or you looking for them." Keith said. I was rolling. Every time we get together is something new going on with us. But this is our family.
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"Did you just pee on my couch?" I asked Cosmo.
"No." She said.
"Then why is my ass wet?" I asked. She looked down.
"I didn't pee my water broke." She said grabbing my arm. Oh hell no. Women during contractions are not my forte.
"Diggy get your wife. She grabbing the wrong one." I said moving out the way. I went through that shit three times no thank you.
We all rushed to our cars to follow them to the hospital. I was thinking about my couch. I got to buy a new one.
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"Oh my god sis she is so adorable. I could just take her from you." Lonnie said.
"Um no the hell you can't you have three we good." I said handing Cosmo back my niece. Lonnie love babies. She better love her own. With they bad asses.
"You don't have to be mean." Lonnie said crying. Why the fuck she crying?
"Lonnie you pregnant?" I asked. She got quiet.
"Lonnie?"
"Yes." She said. I was numb. She pregnant? Again? No I'm not ready. She was hard down laughing. What the fuck so funny?
"Why you laughing?"
"I'm not pregnant I just can't resist seeing your face turn red." I sighed she not pregnant. I got down on my knees.
"Thank you cheezus!" I shouted. She hit me in the back of the head.
"Ow damn." I said.
"Get up acting a fool in this hospital room." She said. I got up sitting in the chair.
I looked around the hospital room. Everyone laughing and talking. We have another addition to the family. A girl at that. I don't think I could deal with anymore girls. We need some more boys.
