Another Scottish Tragedy [LAMS AU]

22

A/n the random French phrases Alex says mean "It rains a lot in winter" and "I don't want to sleep I want to talk to you." I wrote them myself without Google translate someone be proud of me French grammar rules make my brain hurt.

Enjoy!

The days leading up to Christmas were peaceful. John was grateful to have a reprieve from studying day and night.

He stayed up all night every night talking to Alex, whispering to make sure no one heard him. During the day, Alex would write him letters about how he couldn't wait to see him. John felt like his luck got better with every letter Alex wrote him.

For the most part, John's parents let him keep to himself. He understood that he was tired and needed some time alone to rest. Little did they know that John was using that time texting Alex.

Recently, John and Alex had moved their conversations from phone calls to Facetime so they could actually see one another while they talked. Alex has suggested Skype and John had had a mild mental breakdown. John Laurens hated Skype with all of his heart. But that's a story for another time.

On Christmas Eve, John stayed up until midnight waiting to Facetime Alex to wish him Merry Christmas.

When the clock struck midnight, John called him.

“Merry Christmas, Alexander!” John whisper-yelled, grinning as Alex’s smiling face looked back at him.

“Merry Christmas, John.” Alex grinned at him, his beautiful brown eyes shining in the dim light.

“I can't give you your gift until I see you in New York.” John said apologetically. “I guess you'll just have to wait for it.”

“Being with you is the best gift of all.” Alex said, reaching his hand towards the screen as though to touch John then awkwardly pulling his hand away when he realized that that was impossible.

“I'm so glad I met you, Alex.” John said. “I don't know what I would have done if I hadn’t. I'd probably be afraid of everything, and I'd probably be sad and lonely.”

“To be entirely honest here, if I hadn't met you I'd probably be six feet under right now.” Alex laughed sadly. “I probably would have run myself into the ground working myself to death. If you hadn't insisted that I take care of myself, I probably would have died of sleep deprivation by now.”

“That concerns me, Alex.” John said. “I don't want you to hurt yourself. I love you and I want you to be here with me.”

“I'm fine.” Alex said. “Trust me. I'll be fine now that I've found you.”

Alex looked so peaceful and content, more relaxed than Alex had ever seen him. He always said that talking to John calmed him down. All John wanted to do was gently stroke Alex's cheek, to touch his silky hair and fall asleep with his head on Alex's chest.

“John, can I tell you something.”

“Sure.”

“I'm really nervous to meet you. I-I'm worried that when you see me in person you won't like me anymore.”

“Alex, how could you ever say that? I would never stop loving you, no matter what.”

Alex looked mildly uncomfortable.

“I'm not as attractive as you think I am.” Alex's voice was shaking slightly. “People always tell me I look malnourished. I walked into a classroom and James Madison threw a Bible at me because he thought I was a zombie. I-I’m worried that when you see me in person you'll think I’m ugly and not want to be with you anymore.”