The toughest bitch

Being a leader - 7

My team went inside, Clemens wanting to clean the cut, the rest going to wash up before dinner though I didn't join them. I felt awful, I just hurt my friend, my Beta who should be able to trust me fully in whatever form. I was seated on one of the wood logs facing the forest, listening to it as the afternoon came to an end. My shoulder had been put back into place by Mark who somehow knew how to do that. "How could you?" I whispered, intending Rumulus to hear. He didn't reply and was somewhere in my head, having scurried to the back. I couldn't make out his emotions, I just hoped he was feeling as awful as me. I heard footsteps, heavy and with purpose and I didn't have to turn to know the owner. No scent hit my nose as the second in command stopped next to me. She stood like a statue, holding one hand in the other behind her back, reminding me a lot of an army soldier. Her feet were a little more than shoulder wide apart and her face was stern as she stared into the forest herself.

She was not absent though, not like the other times I caught her staring like that. I used the time to study her up close. Her hair was still spiking into every direction possible, though it had a weird dull glow to it, nothing shiny like Beth had described. The fabric hugged her face tightly, outlining her chin and jaw. Her eyes were smaller than I would have expected, smaller than any eyes I had seen and I somehow couldn't make out her eyelid. Hey eyebrows were not prominent though I would swear she would never bother plugging them like I knew most females did. Her eyelashes were dark and long and looking at them gave me a weird feeling. She was not ugly, though it was hard to tell with that fabric over mouth and nose. Her short body was well trained, I knew that after all the training, seeing her run each morning and move. But her clothes hung so lose, I was not able to tell whether she was bulky or just lean. The only tight things were her belt around her midst, signalizing her rather slender waist and her shoulder section.

"I'm sorry" I suddenly whispered, feeling the need to mouth my awful feeling of sorrow. "You have no reason to be" she said and turned to look at me, her eyes pinned mine and I could only stare back. There was something about that vibrant honey colour. "I came here to apologize" she added, her voice stern, but softer than it had been all day. "but...why?" I wondered, not understanding. She had saved Clemens, "If it wasn't for you Clemens would have..." "not experienced any of that" she finished my sentence. She then did something I never expected of her. She crouched down to my seated lever, still capturing my eyes with hers "It was my decision to send you into the ring" she began "picking Clemens so you would be able to show your full abilities. I had decided you were ready and have underestimated your wolf" "Rumulus" I growled, still heavily disappointed. She seemed to shudder a little, maybe anger herself?

"I will not make that mistake again" she continued speaking, her voice seeming a little on edge. "But how would you know?" I asked, curious how she could take this on her shoulders "It's my job" she said, amusement in her eyes. I rose an eyebrow and she sighed a little, closing her eyes slowly and reopening them again. Her stare had changed, her eyes seemed softer as she looked at me "as the leader of the team it is my responsibility to keep you safe. Whatever happens under my watch is my onus. It is my job to know exactly what you are capable of and push you to extend those limits without demanding too much. It is my job to know what you are not capable of and prevent you from something like this afternoon" she explained "it is the job of a leader, everything that happens is his responsibility" she said again, really emphasizing that part "one day that might be you, but right now, you have no responsibility whatsoever in what happened.
I have already apologized to Clemens, it was my fault and I'm glad he is already healed. I should have been more observant over the day, knowing your status better, seeing the hints. I was absent and for that I am sorry" she finished leaving me stunned. Never in my life would I have expected the bitch who kicked us so hard in training, who didn't leave a single trace of emotion on her face, to crouch before me and apologize, let alone say she made a mistake. I didn't know what to say to her so I continued staring into her eyes, they still had me captured, were somehow alluring.

She broke my trance when she suddenly rose, turned and left. I stared at the exact place her eyes had been, unable to move or even blink.
Was this part of her skill? Had she trained to lure people in with her stare, making them unable to move? Maybe is was an interrogating technique she now couldn't hold off and just did out of reflex? I felt churned, hungry as always, but also oddly moved by her words. I let them slowly sink in and couldn't help but find peace in them. I didn't take her for a comforting person and was positive she wouldn't just say that to make me feel better. She wouldn't give a second thought about my feelings, why would she care? Knowing that made me feel confirmed she had been earnest with me.