Garbage || NovaHD

Solitary

NOTE: once again, click the YouTube video for full experience. Preferably at the bolded "It". And, if possible, listen to it at about medium volume. 

If you're on mobile, I'm sorry. B[

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James P.o.V.

"James, just talk with me. You've been locked up in that room for 2 days... It's starting to worry me already," Seamus said through the door. I groaned, and rolled out of bed, unlocking the door and swinging it open. Seamus peered up at me over his glasses, and I glared at him.

"I don't want to talk. There is nothing to talk about!! How many times do I have to tell you!? Leave me alone!" I slammed the door. My chest ached. Why was that? I rubbed at my chest through my thick t-shirt, letting out a low groan of discomfort. I fell onto my bed once again, and sighed loudly, letting my fingers relax against the collar of my shirt. My stereo let out a soft, electric hum, telling me that the CD I was listening to had finished, and was now paused. I didn't want to listen to the CD again. It hurt too much. I reached over and clicked the play button. It hurt even more the second time listening to the full CD. It pissed me off that Aleks could hurt me like this. I rolled off the bed, and ran my hands through my long curls, making my way towards my bedroom window. I reached for the pack of cigarettes that sat on the window's ledge. I popped the cigarette between my lips. I lit my match on the side of the window pain, and brought it up to the end of the cigarette, before flicking the match out the window and taking a drag of tobacco. It burned my throat, like cinnamon candy. I balanced my habit in the V of my fingers, staring out the window at the dull city. Somewhere... Aleks is out there. I chewed on the filter of my cigarette, and furrowed my eyebrows, my fingers curling into my palms to create a fist. Idiot. That fucking idiot. I squeezed my eyes tight, and rested my forehead against the glass. You fucking IDIOT! I let out a shout before pushing away from the window and taking a violent puff off of my smoke. No... No, stop blaming Aleks. You did this. You started all of this. You are the real idiot here. Stop pinning this on Aleksandr. He didn't ask for you to fall in love with him. I clenched my fist even tighter.  But why didn't you fucking stay!? I took another drag of my cigarette, leaving it dangling from my lips this time, and turned on my heel. I just wanted to touch him, to feel him. Hell, I just wanted to see him. Anything to help me return to sanity. I squeezed my eyes shut, and swallowed, sucking in some cigarette smoke as I did. I gasped and sputtered, clearing the burning sensation from the back of my throat, and ironically took another, smoother drag. My fingers were tingling. Was it from my rage, or from the nicotine? I couldn't tell. The gentle, chill rock playing over the speakers just made me even angrier, knowing that if Aleks were here, he would be swinging his head from side to side, his eyes closed, his lips turned up into a small smirk. I flexed my fingers against my palms. Before I could think, I rushed towards my desk and pushed everything off of it. Loose papers and pencils scattered across the floor. I flipped my nightstand, my lamp clattering to the floor loudly. I kicked it across the room, and the light bulb shattered across the hardwood. I broke my chair, dented my dresser, and overturned my mattress. I sent my fist into the wall, my hand making a small crack sound against the dry wall. A small hole was now in the wall were my knuckles hit. Ash fell from off of my smoke. I uncoiled my fingers, and gently ran my hand across the puncture I had created. What have I done? Tears began to prick my eyes, and I pushed away from the wall, smashed my cigarette into my floor, and fell onto my lopsided bed, tears streaming down my cheeks. My shoulders heaved with each new sob. I couldn't control it. I let out a loud wail, and wrapped myself up in my thick comforter like the baby I was. I screamed into the fabric, my heart exploding in my chest. I kept crying, letting everything out. My door handle jiggled, but I ignored it, not in the mood, obviously, to talk to Seamus. My chest hurt so much, the pain was unbearable. It was as if someone had sent a hot poker into my heart. I gasped for breath, trying to seize control of myself. I wrapped myself into a sort of cocoon with my blanket, and sighed, small hiccups and gasps still leaving my lips from time to time. My head was pounding. I closed my tired, burning eyes, and drooped into unconsciousness.