Garbage || NovaHD

Alone

Waking up in the hotel room was quite a shock. Forgetting where you fell asleep the night before is probably one of the most terrifying things in the world; the first thought that ran through my mind for that split second of disorientation was that I had been kidnapped. As soon as I remembered where I was, I felt sorrow wash over me. I hadn't woken up beside James. I stared at the vacant pillow beside me. It's sad, honestly. Getting used to such a cozy environment and then suddenly depriving yourself from it... It was like heroin. James was my heroin. God, that sounds so fucking horrible. But it was true... As much as I hated telling myself that, I knew it was true. Weening yourself off of such a drug is fucking torture. It's only been about 12 hours and I was still itching for his touch, for his stupid, loud, snarky comments, for his love. I rolled out of bed, and stumbled towards the bathroom, deciding to take a shower before leaving the hotel and finding a new place to stay.

As I made my way out of the shower, I passed by the mirror. I stopped, and glanced at my reflection. My hair was dripping wet, and my skin was practically transparent in the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom. I pinched at my shoulder. My skin turned a light pink before slowly fading back to pale white. I pinched a bit harder, and the color turned a bit darker. I pressed my lips together, and began pinching at my left arm and shoulder. Why was I pinching myself, you might ask. It reminded me that I was still living. Still breathing. Without James. My skin was beginning to burn. I dropped my hand to my side, and stared at my pink and purple arm. I sighed, and turned away from the mirror, exiting the bathroom.

The TV was still playing from last night; an old western film was playing on the screen. I blocked out the sound, and fell back on the bed in just my towel. My chest ached. Why was that? I hadn't done anything crazy in the last couple of days, at least I didn't think so. My brain pounded in my head, and I groaned, rubbing at my temples. I feel like an old ass man. The phone beside me began to ring, and I let out an angry roar at the sharp, stupid sound. I snatched the phone off of its dock, but pressed it back into its place, hanging up. I stood up, walking back to the bathroom to get my clothes. 

~~~

Rain was beginning to dribble from the sky. I wearily walked through the city, avoiding large puddles of dirty rain water and soggy newspapers drifting in the wind. I pulled my hood up, protecting my hair from the rain. I observed the city around me, thinking about where I will head off to next. Nobody was even on the streets today. The buildings loomed, the sky was gloomy... Every time I enter the city it gets more and more depressing. I rubbed my hands together. They were dry and scaly, and I tingled uncomfortably from the feel. I looked around me again. It felt as if somebody was watching me, but there wasn't a person in sight. I shivered, and continued walking. A thick fog was starting to layer itself down on the city like a bulky blanket. I grit my teeth and looked down at my feet, rushing across the dirty cement. If a person could feel even more uncomfortable in this city, I was that person. My senses were on high alert. The buildings were getting taller, and more people were beginning to show up; mostly business men in steam-pressed suits. I had entered the "big city".

You see, our town was probably the gloomiest and ugliest place in all of North America. The ironic thing is is that our land used to be the most fertile for plants and crops, back in the 1920s or something like that. Then a bunch of big time "city slickers" came barging in, and offered hundreds of thousands of dollars. As you could imagine, the town it was was very small, and very poor. They had cute, tiny shops and sweet people and all that jazz. But then the city guys came in, and the people of the town couldn't pass up such a wonderful opportunity. So they sold their town, and all of their fertile land. And the big city guys turned it into this hunk of shit. What they did do that wasn't all too bad was that they kept the part of the town that was actually here in the first place; Adam's bar, the small apartments, the pawn shop... The houses up on the hill... That was all here before any changes were made, and they decided to keep it just the way it is. But then they started extending the town into a big, disgusting city, and now what once was a sunny and happy little town is now a foggy and depressing city. A dirty, ugly, prostitute-infested city.