spotlight. [oscar diaz]

i choose life.

- for the strength we didn't even know we had.

✰ ✰ ✰

OCTOBER 9, 2018
3:47 AM

I fell asleep almost immediately after I locked my phone, but I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I stumbled into the bathroom across from my room, flipping the light on and nearly blinding myself. I closed the door and groggily walked to the toilet, sitting down. As I was using it all I could think about was how weird it was I woke up for this.

I never woke up in the middle of the night to pee. I always held it without a problem until the next morning, but for some reason I woke up this time. Once I was finished I stood up, wiping myself and flushing the toilet. As I was washing my hands, I squinted at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a complete mess, kind of like Talia's last night, and I had noticeable bags under my eyes. I shook the water from my hands and walked back into my room.

I pushed my door closed behind me and climbed back into bed. I snuggled up with my blanket and closed my eyes, attempting to go to sleep. I attempted for a good twenty minutes, but I was still tossing and turning. This wasn't like me, either. I was such a deep sleeper. I could sleep anywhere and it never took me longer than ten minutes to fall asleep, especially when it was the middle of the night. I was just like my mother when it came to habits. The only time she didn't follow them is when something was going on - it was like she could unconsciously sense it. Something was wrong.

I hopped out of bed again and walked over to Zahra's room. I slowly opened the door and peeked inside. She was peacefully sleeping, her mouth wide open as drool slid out. I backed up and closed the door before walking further down the hall and turning to Shay and Trevor's room. I did the same thing and it was same - Shay peacefully sleeping, an open book sprawled out on her stomach. I closed her door and returned back to my room.

I turned my lamp on and sat back on my bed. I had this uneasy feeling. Like there was this big, bottomless pit in my stomach. Maybe there was something wrong with Cam or one of the other kids. I reached over and picked up my phone to call them, but when I saw my home screen I knew exactly who was in trouble - and it wasn't any of them.