spotlight. [oscar diaz]

perhaps hopeless isn't a place.

- for the relationships we forge out of grief. who could have ever guessed what it would become?

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APRIL 18, 2014
9:18 AM

Four years earlier...

One week.

My mother has been dead for an entire week.

She was murdered seven days ago by savages. The Prophets and the Santos. First, they take my innocence with all the violence. Now, they take my mother from me as if my childhood wasn't enough. I drove by their teenage leader's house all the time. They were always sitting out there laughing and drinking. They were just fine while my mother was six feet under.

It wasn't fair.

This week had been the longest week of my fucking life. It felt like years. I went to bed without her and I woke up without her. I cried nonstop. Even when I was moving into my cousin Shay's house, I was moving my furniture in tears. She and her husband tried to comfort me, to talk to me, but I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to cry.

I had been gone from school all week and my first day back was today. I was dreading it. Everyone knew about what happened and I knew the whispers and stares were coming. I was only a sophomore in high school. I should still have my mother.

I walked in the front doors and to no surprise Cam was there with her Student Council crew who were all holding a bouquet of different kinds of flowers.

"On behalf of the Student Council we send our condolences," Junior said, holding out the roses.

"Camari thought it'd be a good idea to give you a warm welcome back," Max, the smallest of the crew, said. He held out his bouquet of daisies. "We come bearing flowers."

"We're here if you need us, Ramona," Derek added. I mentally rolled my eyes.

I gave them a small smile and took all the flowers. "Thanks, but I don't feel like talking. Just... please leave me alone," I said, walking past them and down the hallway.

"C'mon. It's not good for you to be alone in a time-" Junior started, and I turned around and cut him off.

"You don't know what's good for me, Junior," I snapped. "You don't even know me!"

"Mona, please. They're only trying to make you feel better," Cam stated.

I glared at her. "Yeah, because you told them to," I argued. She looked at me with sad eyes. "These are your friends, Cam. Not mine. You're in Student Council. Not me. And the only reason they're standing here giving me fake condolences is because you asked them to. They didn't do it on their own. I don't need pity. I just need you to leave me alone."