KARMA: It Is Inevitable

Feeling guilty

It had been over a month now that they had been married, she had decided against going for honeymoon and when he had refused, she had told him it was better for his grandmother too, cos it wouldn't be wise to leave her all alone even for a day not to talk of a whole month, considering the fact that he was the only doctor who treated her, he never allowed anyone else to.

She smiled to herself as she stirred the stew in the pot on the fire, she was going to prepare her husband's favourite African dish. According to him, he loved all the dishes but he still preferred pounded yam with melon soup to the rest, she smiled remembering the look on his face when he had put the first morsel into his mouth, his eyes had widened in wonder, he had even commented on her cooking skills, she had also made the dessert with the help of his head chef, she had loved the taste of the chocolate molasses but it was a bad idea, it most definitely did not go with the pounded yam she had made, cos they were already filled up before dessert.

She smiled as she remembered his grandmother praising her and also telling her that she was glad that her grandson loved African food as she had always predicted he would, 'I had always prepared African food for my husband, but in as much as he loved it,he couldn't really adapt to it so I stopped cooking it and I my self got used to their delicacies over there, when ever i go on a date with my husband, especially when I was pregnant with my first child' the woman said wistfully with tears in her eyes and a sad smiling face, 'I always eat five course meals' She said sadly and wiped the single tear that had escaped her beautiful old cheek away. Caroline had moved closer to her and placed her hands on the old lady's shoulders. 'It doesn't mean now, the past is gone and this is the present,' She said, knowing with the sad face and tear, something bad must have happened, ' yes my child you are right, it is now in the past and that you and my grandson are so in love is a good thing at least I am happy, the happiness, that brings me is overwhelming enough, I think I will be happy to die when I hear that you are pregnant with my great grandchild,' Caroline had literally choked on her saliva, she coughed so hard that she had to gasp for breath and when she had recovered from her shock, she had simply smiled at the old woman who had been worried sick when she had suddenly began to cough and gasp for breath, 'are you okay now my child?' The kind old woman had asked her and she had nodded frantically. 'I have to go now, I will be back later'.

Caroline remembered the way she had rushed out of the old woman's room, as guilt had swamped through her, the lady was heart broken enough, how could she tell her now that it was all a big lie, and that no child would be coming soon or would ever come through her, only if her grandson marries another woman, who was potent in that area.

A warm hand jolted her out of her self pity, and the disturbing thought she was having. Too bad, the guilt was still lingering in her, and she saw herself for what she was at that particular moment 'a liar' 'an hypocrite' and 'a big coward'. She knew that out of all this, she was still honourable, at least she wasn't backing down from her promise.

She turned around to see, Maria, her husband's Italian maid, and her friend, most definitely her best friend, ever since she got married to Alex, Maria had been her companion, teaching her to speak Italian, and to make some Italian dishes.

'You zoned off,' Maria said, making Caroline look up at her as if she couldn't comprehend what she was saying. It took a moment really for Caroline to understand, 'Oh...' Caroline said waving her hand dismissively as if it was nothing, 'yeah, I...er... was...erm...thinking about something,' she continued, stammering, looking everywhere else but at her friend, and before Maria could say another word, Caroline pushed a tray of food towards her, 'here, please take this to the dining table'. Maria sighed and did as she was told.

Caroline felt her heart miss a beat as the sound of her husband's car being parked filled her ear. She grinned like a fool, and almost bounded out of the kitchen down the front staircase and  into his arms, actually in her mind eye. She sighed, remembering that this was all about business and as stupid as she was, she was already fantasizing about them being a real couple, and the feelings he had evoked in her was quiet terrifying, she was sure she was not in love with him, they hadn't been very close, they had not even kissed properly after the kiss they had shared at the restroom entrance, and she was sure it was because he wanted to show it to the whole world trough the journalist that had captured that moment at the enttance that they were so in love, so no one would ever know that it was all so fake.

The excitement in her died down, she could not help it, neither could she lie that what she was feeling for him was so strong and tangible, she could not even tell how she had suddenly developed a strong liking to him, but she knew it had to stop, his advice 'no falling in Love with me' rang through her brain down to her foolish heart. And she had promised him too. She could not even think of loving him, she couldn't bear a child, so, it would be terrible if she had to go through what she went through with her ex-husband again with her fake husband, but that still does not stop her wishing for a man who would really love her for who she is, for what she is and for her flaws.

She took a deep breath before proceeding to the dining room, where she found her husband seated with his back to her. The fact that he had changed his office shirt, jacket and trousers into a casual cloth took her by surprise, how long had she been in the kitchen, thinking about her feelings? She wondered. 'Hi,' she greeted him and sat down opposite him, he looked up acknowledging her greetings and dug deep into his meal the more, leaving her to look at him with a little hurt smile, as she noticed, the little cheek to cheek kissing they always shared was not available, instead he preferred the food to her. The hurt she felt ran a little bit deeper than she would have wanted it to, but she was good at masking her feelings. She said her prayers and began eating.

'We are going out for on an invite to a fund raising event to night' her husband told her, 'so make sure you get ready before 7:00 pm'. He continued, 'ok' she nodded like a submissive wife and continued eating her food.

'You two look so good together, so romantic, just look at yourselves, see the way you look at each other, like two people so much in love with each other, awww, it is so cute'. Caroline and Alex jerked their heads up in unison as Alex's grandmother strolled in on her wheelchair, she moved closer to them, ' I love seeing you two like this, it gives me Joy ' she continued.

Caroline immediately lost her appetite hearing this words again, the words that has a terrible effect on her, she just wished she could forget about her promise to Alex and tell the old lady the truth and free herself of the guilt she was feeling. She glanced up at Alex to see him watching her with keen eyes probably to see her reaction she was sure.

'Excuse me please,' she said and excused herself front the dining room as the tension in it escalated. She ran to her room when she knew she was out of ear shot, locked the door, fell on her bed and cried herself to sleep.

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Merry christmas and happy new year in addy, everyone.

And I hope you enjoyed yourselves reading this chapter, love you all till the next update. 😗😗bye for now