You Lied | Park Jinyoung

chapter nineteen

I wrote letters like that in my notebook everyday for the past six months. I have seen Jinyoung a couple times the past six months. Mainly with Ji-yeon, which made the healing process very hard.

I have been getting over him for exactly 184 days. It wasn't the easiest thing to do. I'm not completely there yet. I still have a long way to go.

I was planning to leave again. Korea wasn't working out. I was only planning to be away for about a year. I just wanted to get away. Life wasn't doing my amazingly. It was more of a really long vacation.

I wrote one last letter today.

2:34
Mar.19

I feel better now. This is the last letter I'm writing. I will never open up any letter from this day on. I will promise myself that. I haven't moved on yet. Do I still love him? Yes I do. But do I still love him the way I did before? I don't know. All I know is he is happy loving someone else. And that's something I have to accept. I tried to. But the words that I heard from him was all true. I lied to him. He didn't need a liar like me in his life. Whoever reads this, I may never come back. I'm not sure how long I'm going away. Just know I'm living somewhere better. Oh. Not in heaven. Don't worry I'm not dead. I'm just wanting to get away from love. I see myself coming back to Korea and being happy I left. Only to see the man I love with a woman and a child. He lived a happy life without me. I'm glad I wasn't there to ruin the beautiful life he has. It will hurt but at least one is happy. If my one sided love leads to it, then let the universe hurt me.

-Y/N

The last letter I would write. I let go of him. Finally. I had all my bags packed. I said my goodbyes the day before. I was ready for whatever the world had for me.

Whether it was pain or happiness. I was ready. I made my way to the airport. The day was gloomy. I had to wait a little more to check in to my flight. I sat down on the bench. The airport was beautiful.

This was the airport I always went to and I was still amazed by it.

I saw that check-in was open so I got up. I had my bag checked in and went through security. I was walking to my gate until I heard ruckus. I tried to just ignore because it was none of my business.

My plane was about to board. I quickly rushed to my gate. I got delayed a bit for my trench coat got stuck in someone's bag.

I finally made it to my gate. I heard someone running behind me. I told myself it wasn't my business and continued to board onto my plane.

"Y/N."

I knew the voice. It screamed out to me. I stopped. I didn't look back. It wasn't my business. I had no reason to look back now.

Hands wrapped around my back.

"Don't leave."

"No."

"Don't leave me. Or your friends. Don't leave your only family."

"Jinyoung. I have to. Our worlds don't collide. I'm aware of it. Your life won't change after I leave."

"Yes it will."

"Only fools could fall for you. I'm not leaving to leave scars. I'm leaving because I need to heal them." I turned around. I kept the last letter in my pocket. I wanted to take it with me to remember why I left. Even though I won't open it again. It's just a reminder of why I'm where I am today. I handed it to him. "Don't look for me. Return this to my box on the tallest shelf in my room. The key is under the mat."

"Y/N. I'm telling you are going to regret leaving."

"Jinyoung. Even if I do- Promise me something."

"I can't you may not keep it."

"No. Promise me, you will be happy. Forgot about me. Forgot about Y/F/N."

And with that, I walked to my plane. It hurt to see him like that. He really cared. But he didn't love me like that. He never did and he never will.

-jinyoung's POV-

She walked away from me. She really left. She didn't want to stay with me. I will keep her promise. I have no reason to be hurt that she left.

"Liar." I whispered to myself. That was what she was.