You Lied | Park Jinyoung

chapter eighteen

"Your right."

I didn't expect him to say that. I didn't say all of that just for him to that I was right. But I mean what else was he supposed to say.

"I am?"

"Yes you are." He let go of my hands. "I love Ji-yeon. I want a future with her. She had helped me through almost everything."

"Jinyoung. I'm saying this now because we may never see each other the same way again."

"What do you mean by th-"

"I like you."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know you saw me like that."

"No. I'm sorry. I know you love her. I'm sorry."

I walked away. Why did I do that? I'm so stupid. Of course he won't like you. He has a girlfriend.

-jinyoung's POV-

She told me she liked me. Did I hear that right? I liked her. Before. I love Ji-yeon. I feel bad for hurting her feelings. Yet at the same time, I feel like I've hurt myself as well. I'm not sure if it was because I hurt my first love or it was that I told off the one I truly love. If anything I hope it isn't either and we are on good terms later.

-end of jinyoung's POV-

I walked home. I opened the door and found an empty dark apartment. I flicked open the lights and sat down on the couch.

I held my chest. It's a habit. I stared outside. It was raining again. I hated it. I wanted to leave again. I wanted to but I couldn't. I couldn't get my body to book a flight.

I wouldn't care where it was to. Just far away from here. I saw the water droplets appear on my windows. It was such a pretty sight yet so hurtful. It was like a bunch of tears falling down.

This reminded of something. Maybe it was better to let him go. I lied to him. I hurt him. He didn't deserve someone like me in his life.

I grabbed a pen and a blank notebook.

10:54
Oct.12.

Im sorry. To him and myself. Im sorry to my heart who I put through so much. You don't deserve it. I let go of him. The only man I have loved in my lifetime. I don't know why I'm writing this. I just wanted to write down the process of moving on. I want to see how it really works. And if it actually works. People will always tell you it was easy. Others will tell you to just forget. But how can you forget when you have spent all your life on this on person. The person who you love wasn't there to help you yet you still love them. Through the worst time of your life this person was supposed to be there. But they weren't. It hurts because you held on so tightly that you can barely tighten your grip. I can't let go. But I have to. It will always be like that. I never want to do what I have to but I need to or everything would be off. So whoever reads this, do things out of your own opinion. Don't be like me where you let go of one of the most important in your life.

-Y/N