Chapter Twenty-three: I'm losing control

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*Ashton* 

I decided to go for a walk in the park down the street. It's been so long since I've been for a walk, almost four years. When the news about Lolita hit me, I lost it. I ran for days without a break, I ended up in the middle of a dessert. I hadn't even notice I was crying until my tears hit the corner of my lips, and I could taste the bitter saltines of my tears. I punched the ground so hard that day, I broke a crater in the sand. As I saw the sand flow down into the hole, I wanted to jump into it. I know I can't die, that was the only thing that stopped me from doing it.

"Sir, are you OK?" I looked down and saw a little girl looking at me. She was holding a bear in her little hands, and she was staring at me with such big brown eyes.

"I'm OK." I smiled at her and she smiled back before running back to a group of kids. I watched as they played, it was helping me keep my mind off of Lola.

"Aw, what's wrong big brother? Miss that little monster of yours?" That voice.

"Tess, come out. Why are you hiding?" She stepped out from behind a tree and I finally saw her after all these years. Her hair is so much longer now, and her eyes are now a strange yellow color. She's dressed in all black, and has a black coat on that flows just above her knees.

"You actually want to talk to me know?" I hadn't talked to her since the day I slapped her. She had said that she was glad Lola was gone, and that pissed me off. I couldn't help it, so I snapped. Every time after that, she tried to contact me, but I ignored it. I was to tired to pretend this time.

"Tess, what do you want?" She walked towards me, Her heels could be hear all trough out the park. Since when did she start wearing heels?

She sat next to me, and I could feel a strange but familiar energy radiating off of her. I couldn't put my finger on where I had felt this energy before, It's like my mind is being blocked. 

"I've missed you." She looked me dead in the eyes, with those strange yellow eyes of hers. But I could still see the honesty in her words. Teresa has always loved me, but sometimes I felt like that may not be such a good thing. She was always attached to me, to the point she made sure no girl would come near me. 

"You've changed."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"What do you think?" We staid silent. Even as it started to rain and everyone began to leave the park, we just sat there. The rain missing us completely, not even one drop hit us. Was she doing it, or was I?

"Ash, I love you. I just wanted to protect you."

"From what?! Lolita? Tess, I love her." I saw her clench her fist. It was only for a second, but I saw it. She pressed her lips together, and avoided looking me in the eyes. She's pissed.

"Ashton, she is not good for you. She is the grim reapers daughter for crying out loud!"

"She's also god's granddaughter. How can she not be right for me?"

"Because she's not!" She lost control for a second, and her energy hit the tree next to me. She covered her eyes, but I still saw them turn completely yellow.

"Tess."

"I have to go." She vanished and the rain was now hitting me. I didn't care, it matched the way I was feeling inside. I had lost the love of my life, all because she wanted to be an angel. And I also lost my little sister, because she doesn't like the person I love. All this is so frustrating.

I sat in the rain for a while longer, then I left. I headed back to my apartment and saw Blake asleep in the couch. He collects souls at night, and sleeps during the day. He said he wanted to be a grim reaper, but not this way. He still hasn't used the powers Lolita gave him, he said it never felt right. He hadn't earned that much power, so he refuses to use them. He showed me how much power she had given him, and I am amazed at just how powerful she really was. No wonder she beat Abraham, she was so strong.

I broke down in my room, I blasted my music and locked my door. I felt my body shake and my fist clench. I punched the metal punching back Blake made me, it's the only thing that can handle my punches. I punched it so hard I broke right trough it.

"Lolita, please, wake up." Every day without her was torture. The worst part is knowing that I will never die, and I will have to suffer this nightmare alone. I looked at my hand, no sign of cuts or bruises. Nothing can hurt me physically, but that doesn't mean I'm not already broken mentally. When I learned about what I really am, Lolita was the one keeping me from losing it. Now I lost the only thing keeping me sane, so what do I do now?

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*God* 

I watch Ashton in his room, I can see him slowly losing control. He still doesn't know that if he loses complete control of his mental state, he will not be able to stay the same. Abraham managed to keep Ashton's mental state stable, as long as he is composed and calm. Losing my granddaughter is having a huge impact on that. I need to get her out of that eternal sleep her father has her in, or she and Ashton will both lose touch of themselves.

"Sir." I turned to face one of my angels.

"Yes?"

"We believe we may have figured out a way to bring miss Lolita here." I turned to face him. If they truly have discovered a way to break death's eternal slumber, Lolita can become an angel. I can train her to use her new holy powers, and she can help Ashton gain control of his mental state. I may not be able to give that boy peace, thanks to Abraham tainting his soul, but I will do everything to keep him from turning into an empty shell.

"Come, we do not have time to waist."

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