If Only She Knew

Chapter 51: Rome

Mia's Point Of View

Feeling kisses pressing against my skin, my body instantly shot up, Ethan's brown eyes stared down at me "Wake up baby," He husked, his voice vibrating against my skin. I groaned, turning on my side, the bright sun shining through my eyelids. "Mia," He cooed, his cold hands rubbing all over my body, goosebumps surfacing on my skin. "Wake up, we're going somewhere," He babbled, snatching the duvet from my body, shivers running up my spine.

"Really Dre?" I grumbled, he knows i usually get angry in the morning-who doesn't anyway?

"I'm tired, I was up last night waiting for you because you said you would be home at two" i argued, pulling the cover back over my freezing body. I was up last night waiting for him, i heard him come home around five in the morning or so. He sighed his body plopping back down next to mine, silence overlapping the both of us.

"I'm sorry, I just got caught up with work, you know that's why," He breathed, his fingers tangling in my hair, he twirled some pieces around his finger, his hands then massaging my scalp. "I'm sorry baby," He apologized, pressing his lips against the skin on my neck.

"You always say that," I muttered, pulling the cover over my body, holding the fabric tightly in my hands just in case he chooses to try waking me up again. Ethan hasn't been with me at all lately, it's mostly been rain checks, dinner by myself, and going to sleep without him, he's been here but not actually here. He's either been working on some new photoshoots, modeling for some brands, acting or out with friends. He doesn't really acknowledge my presence unless I'm pissed.

"And I mean it," He croaked, running his fingers up and down my spine. "You think I like leaving you here all alone? Do you think I like being gone all the time and not having you with me-I hate it. If I could be with you every second of the day I would but I can't." He explained, stopping his touch from my cold skin, he wrapped his arm around my waist. "Go with me somewhere...please," He begged, his breath hitting the back of my neck.

"Okay," I gave in, turning on the satin sheets, his messy hair, baggy eyes, and slight stubble coming to view. "Where are we going?" I questioned ask, rubbing my tired eyes.

"It's a surprise, pack your stuff," He grinned, pecking my lips softly. He jumped out of bed, wandering past the pile of clothes he stripped down from last. "I'm going to shower, you want to join me?" He questioned winking his eye at me, i shook my head in disapproval.

Lately I've been thinking about a lot of stuff and i just still haven't figured out how to exactly tell him i want to end things or at least take a break. Everytime ive wanted to do so something has got in the way-I'm not sure if that's the universes way of telling me not to do it-or sign that i need to do it. But either way I have to do it because I've had enough Im so tired of these countless nights I cried myself to sleep all of these times I cleared my schedule just to spend time with him and in return he forgets or can't do shit for me and the second you start questioning your self worth and whether you're good enough or not you need to realize the relationship you're in is not healthy. I love him. I really do, with all my heart but I just deserve to feel good about myself I deserve to be happy.

"No, I'm good you go ahead without me, I'm going to make some breakfast," I said and smiled, tossing the duvet off of my body. He looked at me, his eyes observing my body language. I stretched my arms, yawning from exhaustion. He nodded his head, knowing his apology fixed nothing-which is true. It didn't change my mind about anything, I'm going to tell him soon.

He ambled into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I let out a deep breath, sliding my slippers on my bare feet. The sound of the water running filling my ears, i licked my lips, wandering down the stairs into the granite kitchen. I made breakfast; toast, scrambled eggs and some fried white cheese with a side of orange juice. Ethan strolled into the kitchen, grey sweat pants hanging off his torso, his hair dripping wet, a white-tee hugging his biceps.