This Devil | bts eighth member (REWRITING)

Notes

English is bold
Korean is italic
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(Toriau's POV)

I remembered the time when I saw it happened

My legs and voice failed me, only I could hear my heartbeat and soft breaths

The crimson blood decorated the floor and my clothes, seeing a man lying on the floor, the other man holding a sharp knife

I was young

Dumb

The man started strutting towards me, hovering my small thin frame. And I couldn't do anything but kick his legs

I started to run, run and never look back

I left him

The man

Lying dead on the floor

I could have called for help, or possibly attack the man but I was only a mere child

I remembered the time when his eyes looked at me before the murderer stabbed him repeatedly at the back

The last I saw was his eyes that stared at me through a curtain of blood

Starting from there...I only saw the world in dark colors. I thought the world was punishing me for leaving the man dead

My mom helped

But it didn't help me

Everyone treated me as if I was a fragile toy, drop and it'll break into parts

No

I didn't want that

I wanted someone to wake me up from my mourning and yell at me, tell me that it was useless. That it had already happened

Of course, I met the family of the man

Seeing his wife and his three children

A girl who was only a young child, around 6 years old, and another boy who was only 3 years old and an infant

I thought to myself

"What if I had saved the man?
Would the children have their father back?"

The woman told me it was okay, that it was fine. It's clearly not

I can see the pain in her eyes, and her clueless children who watched her cry

Every time I looked at the mirror, I could only see failure, a disgrace and a murderer

I don't trust people, people who say it's alright, it's fine. You're only saying it to make the person feel better, no. Stop

Be honest

Brutally honest

Knock some sense into them

Before I met the boys, it was hell for me. I tried, I really did, to help me and for the sake of my parents

Everyday, I would listen to the sound of my heart, or the whistling of the wind
It's calm

I like the rain too, it makes me feel like someone's crying along with me. And I feel like I could share my grief with them

Now reminiscing back the time, it feels like a bandage is being covered over my wound, I want to meet my past self

Tell him that he wasn't what he was

That he shouldn't be stubborn and let it go

For the sake of yourself

Stop hurting yourself

I wish...I could turn back time, and smile at him. Patting him, maybe hit him for being dumb ;)

And maybe I could have been a better person than what I am now

Right now. I think I should go and give the members the love they deserve <3

End of my rant,
Toriau <3

Containing a selca ;)