he looks, merely glances, but enough to make nations fall at his feet. eyes curved delightfully like crescent moons. it is no wonder that people have gone to the moon and back for him.
he catches his frown slipping, and finds it hard to maintain it...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"People have been asking me if I'm fine since day one", Toriau began, already fiddling in his seat
"They say I would look distressed and unhappy, it's true. I did", he drew in a shaky breath
"I had depression, everyone had, I had therapies for many years since I was just 4 years old until I was 16, that's when I met the boys", he continued, failing to give out a smile
"I saw...a murder, and I didn't even budge to help. I was...frozen, if I wasn't that stupid, I would have grabbed the murderer's foot. And because I was stupid, I watched...the father of three children die", he said, tears spilling out
"You might say, oh, it's not a big deal, it's in the past. It still hurts like fresh wounds, that is my biggest regret up until now", he said, catching a breath and stopped his rambling
"That's when I began an internal war with myself, I wasn't happy, not because of my looks or the bullying, I was unhappy because of that, the murder. One of the children was only an infant at that time", he buried his head into the sleeves of his shirt
"I didn't want to forgive myself, I wanted it as a punishment. I punished myself for being a fucking dumb kid. I wanted to torture myself so that I don't make the same mistake. I lived with the guilt, and it consumed me, knowing that you watched the death of a father of three is not easy", he gave a sad smile, and paused
"But, I learned. That the first step of everything is to forgive yourself, if you're trying hard, rest your body, your mind. You're all you need and all you have. Everyone comes and goes, so it's only you", he said, looking at the ceiling as if it was suddenly more interesting
"The boys saved me, making me feel alive and happy again. If you're ever going through what I felt, guilt and all the past memories, just know, there's plenty more people who's feeling the same, you're not alone in this big yet small world. Someday, there might be someone who will come along and save you", Toriau said, raising his two hands
"Don't get me wrong, you have to also do it by yourself. Okay, so if you've stolen something, you should have a talk with yourself, perhaps confess, and forgive yourself, so you can be the better you"
"Thank you Army. Thank you for listening to my past and pep talk. Just know, this little boy right here, will always love you. No matter how far you are or if I don't even know you, I still love you"
