Problems

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A/N: So this is kinda like the intro or prologue for the book, so it has a lot of exposition, but I would still probs read it bc a lot of stuff later probs won't make sense if u don't :)

>Virgil<

Tomorrow is the first day of 8th grade. I've been dreading it all week. Of course, I always dread the first day of school - I'm always thinking about how everyone's going to judge me and I'm going to have so much stress and all my teachers are going to hate me - but this year is different.

You see, when I was in 5th grade, I developed a crush on this guy Roman. He was super confident and funny and didn't care what people thought of him. I sorta admired him - I guess that's how it started, anyway. But I didn't talk to him because I was so shy. I didn't think he even knew I existed - that is, until one day. We had to do this group project for language arts and I was super nervous about it because I didn't have any friends. Roman was friends with these two other guys - Logan and Patton - and they were going to do the project together, but they were short one person (we had to be in groups of four). That's when Roman noticed I wasn't part of a group and he asked me to join theirs. We all became best friends after that and my admiration for Roman quickly turned into a crush. I never told him - I'm way too shy for that - but, looking back, it was obvious. REALLY obvious.

My parents are really homophobic (I hate them), so I never told anybody about my crush for a while. After 5th grade ended, I tried telling my parents about my crush on Roman. We ended up getting into a huge fight and I got grounded. You see, Roman's always been very up front about his sexuality (he's gay), so my parents already didn't like him, saying that he was a bad influence for me. They blew up on me when I told them I liked him, forbidding me from being around him anymore. I was so upset, I almost ran away. Maybe I should have. That summer, I snuck out of the house a lot and went to Roman's place secretly (he lived only a block away from me). Roman was super supportive of me when I told him how my parents reacted to me being gay - leaving out the part where I said I had a crush on him, of course. I went over to his house all the time and we would rant about my parents and hang out a lot. My feelings for him only grew stronger and stronger. I felt safe around him, and was probably with him more than I was with my actual family - which was perfectly fine with me.

The problem came when we started our 6th grade year. Roman told me that he and his family were moving away in November. I was heartbroken. We spent as much time together as possible in those last few months. I kept trying to muster the courage to tell him how I felt about him, but by the time I did, I was too late. They ended up moving a couple weeks early and we said goodbye all too soon, and I never told him. My parents were overjoyed, lets just say.

I became better friends with Patton and Logan, Roman being gone and all, but I never really got over my feelings for him. Just a week ago - a week before the beginning of 8th grade - Roman moved back here! He lives even closer to me now, as he's literally right across the street from me. I haven't really gotten a chance to see him, though, because he was busy moving in and I was busy trying to get my parents to leave me alone. Ever since he moved back to the neighborhood, my parents have gotten all worried. They constantly checked on me and made sure I didn't try to sneak out like I used to do. They wanted me nowhere near Roman.

And now tomorrow is the first day of school and it'll be the first time I've seen him in, like, almost two years. I should be excited, I should be happy - but I'm SO FRICKING NERVOUS. What if he doesn't remember me? What if he doesn't like me now? I mean, I've changed some. What if he's completely different than what I remember? What if he has other friends and doesn't want to hang out with me? What if he hates me? What if he knows I had/have a crush on him and it makes things super awkward? Ugh! Why am I like this?!

Before I know it, my alarm clock goes off and I'm still staring up at my ceiling. I didn't catch a wink of sleep. I roll out of bed and turn off the alarm. Groggily, I pull on a pair of black jeans, a dark purple shirt, and a black hoodie. I take some time putting on white foundation and black eye-shadow - partly to piss off my parents, partly because I think it looks good. Finally, I grab my backpack, checking like twelve times to make sure I have everything I need, and head downstairs. I don't want to talk to my parents right now, so I decide to skip breakfast and just head to school.

I walk quickly through the kitchen and out into the main hallway that leads to the front door. "Bye mom, bye dad." I call quickly and bluntly, not caring to even glance at them as I passed.

"Is that make-up on your face?" My mom asks sharply.

I stop at the doorway to the kitchen. Not turning around, I say, "Yup."

"You're not going to school like that, young man." My father says and, from the sound of it, puts down his newspaper.

I inhale sharply. Turning my head to face him, I give him a defiant glare, "Watch me." then I ran out of the kitchen, threw open the door, and slammed it shut behind me. I sprinted the rest of the way to the bus stop.

Being the first one there as usual (I'm always scared I'm going to miss the bus), I drop my backpack on the sidewalk, sit down myself, and lean against it. I take out the expensive black headphones Roman got me as a parting gift before he moved. My parents don't know I have these - I've made sure of that - but I use them all the time when I'm alone. I put them on, connect them to my phone, and load up some music.

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