Sandstorms- Destiel- Supernatural

Deep In The Cell Of My Heart

Dean's eyes snapped open, he felt restless.

He sat up sleepily and looked around. The clock read four fifteen a.m.

Castiel wasn't next to him.

Fuck.

"Cas?" he tried. No response.

He shot up in head and wandered around the house.

Castiel's shoes were gone.

"Fuck." he whispered, and went to go get his cellphone.

Both of their cellphones were sitting next to each other on the nightstand.

"Fuck fuck fuck!"

He grabbed his and rushed into Sam's room.

"Sam, Sam wake up. Cas is gone. I have to go look for him right now. He might do something stupid. His stuff is here and he just up and left."

"What? He just up and left?" Sam mumbled sleepily.

"Yeah. Listen, stay here. I just wanted you to know where I was going. If Gabriel or Anna call tell them what's going on. Can you do that for me?" Dean rambled.

"Of course. Just be careful."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As the album ended, Castiel knew he should never have left.

Now, he just wanted Dean's arms around him.

He was scared, and alone, in the dark of his apartment and all he wanted was the emerald eyed, freckled, beautiful hunk of a man to comfort him.

He was an idiot. An idiot with some sort of mental thing that caused him to wander around at two in the morning away from Dean.

Castiel pulled his knees closer to his chest.

The album started over, and the song "Asleep." started again.

It was not time for that song, but he was too scared to move. He was too scared to move out of the bathroom and skip the song.

That's how pathetic it was.

The song was depressing him. Making him curl even farther into himself.

He was shaking. He hated when he got his way.

He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, he could barely think.

It was terrifying.

The bathroom door was shut, and the bathtub was cold and he couldn't move.

If he could at least get to his bed...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As Dean made his way to the door of Castiel's apartment, he saw that the door was open a crack.

That...wasn't good.

As he got closer, he could faintly hear the Smiths playing.

Thank. GOD!

He pushed the door open, and closed it with a thud.

"Castiel Novak I swear to god!" he whispered harshly as he made his way through the apartment, turning on lights as he went.

He heard whimpering coming from the bathroom, and he went over to boom box and turned off the music.

"Cas!?" he called, warning him of his presence.

Dean came upon the bathroom door, opening it quietly.

"Cas?" he tried again.

It was bad this time.

The bleary eyed man was shaking, paralyzed in the empty bathtub, crying, and trying his best to breathe.

It reminded him of how he felt after talking to him about the Alastair thing.

He knelt down in front of the bathtub, and looked at his boyfriend.

"Cas, baby it's me. Dean. I'm here." he soothed softly.

Castiel took a shaky breath and unfolded his legs from his chest.

"Can I touch you?" Dean asked.

The younger of the two nodded, blue eyes red and puffy and solemnly staring at nothing.

Dean gently lifted Castiel out of the tub, and brought him into the living room, setting him down on the couch.

He sat next to him, turned them both so he was looking Cas in the eye.

"I need you to breath, okay? I know you can do it. Take a deep breath, let it out."

Castiel did as he was told, breathing deeply and calming himself down.

"When did you leave the apartment?" Dean asked gently, running his fingers through his boyfriends hair.

"Two."

"So you've been having a panic attack for two hours here by yourself?"

Cas nodded.

"Cas, honey." he whimpered, pulling him tightly to his chest. "You scared me half to death."

"I'm sorry." he managed. "I had no control over myself. This is where I ended up."

"I know." he gripped him tighter. "I know, Cas. Just...dammit. You're not okay. I've...just been so worried. What's going to happen? Can we survive for five days?"

"Dean, I need to get away from my family. I fear that if I'm around them much longer I might kill myself."

Dean froze.

"What?"

"When I get like that, that panicky, insane, ridiculous person just wants to die. If I don't get them away...I-well it might win if I don't get out of it fast enough, I don't know Dean! I'm just so scared...I don't know what to do. We need to get away. They need to get away. Mother and Father...we need to get them far away."

Dean was crying now.

He pulled his cellphone from his pocket.

"Sam, come pick us up. We're...at Cas' apartment." he choked out.

He hung it up and pulled away from Castiel, putting his hands on his shoulders and steadying them both, looking him in the eye.

"I will not let that happen." he said, firmly. "I said I was going to keep you safe, and I fucking meant it. I told you I was going to be here for you no matter what. I tried to let you do it your way, Cas. Deal with it...them. Hope you could get through it, but they are horrible people. I don't want anything else to happen to you, so we are going to do this my way now. Is that alright? I don't want you to be around them anymore."

Castiel nodded, a few more tears running down his cheeks.

"Just make it all stop, Dean. Please."

"I love you, Castiel. We're going to get you through this. Go get the rest of your things. You're staying at my house at least until the Novak douches leave town."

"I love you too." he whimpered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Sam, he's basically suicidal." Dean choked out.

"Oh god...Dean, I...I don't even know. How are you going to get them to leave?"

"I'm going to tell the truth. That I'm Castiel's boyfriend,and I'm going to protect him no matter what, and that I have evidence of them beating their son. Then, if they threaten me I'll call the fucking police. Gabriel and Anna are on board with me too."

"Do think it'll work?" Sam seemed concerned.

"I think it's the best bet we've got."

The younger put a hand on his brothers shoulder.

"You're a hero, Dean. Seriously. I don't tell you this enough, but your amazing, and I'm so glad to have you to look after me."

Dean smiled shyly.

"Whatever Bitch, just looking out for my family."