Sandstorms- Destiel- Supernatural

The Same Sad Song

Dean woke up with tear stained cheeks, and a body full of sweat. He was panting, and willing himself to calm down before he woke up Cas.

It was too late.

"Dean?" he asked, groggily. "Are you alright?"

The shorter man reached over and wrapped his arms around Dean's middle, holding him close.

"I'm fine. Just a nightmare. It's fine." he breathed, and leaned into Castiel's touch.

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah, it's just because we started talking about the Alastair thing."

Castiel's gaze on him was intense.

"Dean..."

"I'm fine, Cas. I promise. I've had to deal with it for a long time, it isn't anything new."

The blue eyed man leaned over and kissed him gently.

"I just hate seeing you in pain, my love."

"It's not a big deal, I'll be fine."

"You deserve better than fine." he glanced at him with concern.

Dean opened his mouth, and then closed it again. He didn't know what to say.

"It isn't fair that you've had to deal with whatever this is, for so long, unable to sort things out in fear of your brothers sanity. You deserve better than fine , you deserve perfect."

The elder Winchester gave him a look, and sat up.

"It's also not fair that you're getting dragged into my problems." he pointed out.

Castiel scowled.

"I'm sure you'll get dragged into plenty of mine. It's called being in a relationship."

Dean sighed, defeated, and tried to stand up, but Cas pulled him down, kissing him hard.

"Je t'aime." he whispered, after pulling away.

Dean started at the shorted man for a few seconds, soaking in the beautiful sounds that had followed from his lips.

The green eyed man was impressed with himself, he knew what that meant!

"I love you too. I'm sorry I'm so stubborn."

"Don't apologize." he kissed him once more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Three days later, Castiel was staying over at Dean's house.

Dean was in the shower and Sam and Castiel were sitting in the living room together.

"Sam?" asked the short, nerdy blue eyed man.

"Yeah?"

"Dean's going to be upset that I told you this, but you need to know, just the same."

Sam gestured for him to go on.

"He's been having nightmares, about something that happened in high school, but every time he starts to tell me what happened, he breaks down crying and can't finish."

The younger Winchesters eyes grew wide.

"What? Really!? Why didn't he tell me?! I had no idea...he never mentioned anything to me."

"Yes, he still puts you first." Castiel sighed. "He doesn't want you to worry."

"Dammit." he said, quietly. "He needs to worry about himself."

"Please don't push him, Sam. I'm doing all I can to get him to tell me, but we have to give it time. We don't want to force anything. He said something about someone named Alastair?"

"Alastair was his friend, though." Sam gasped.

"Apparently, he did something to betray Dean."

"How long has he been hiding this from me?"

"He said this happened during Junior Year."

Sam sighed.

"Thanks for telling me Cas, I'm glad I can at least trust you to look after him."

"Of course Sam."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~~~

The nightmare was the same every night, vivid and real and then not all at once.

It was one of those dreams were he was the observer, and he couldn't help, or make it worse, or do anything but watch.

It was more terrifying than the way he remembered it.

It was surreal and horrible.

Dean wanted more than anything to just tell Cas, but he literally couldn't. He couldn't get any farther into the story without tears pouring from his eyes and shudders racking his body.

He had been fine, before this whole thing came back. Fine.

Then, when he met Cas, he felt fucking fantastic, but now, he was certainly not fine.

All he wanted to do all day was sleep, so he took extra hours at Bobby's, purposely over-working himself.

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~

"He's getting worse, purposely making life harder for himself, barely sleeping, Cas, what do I do?"

"Calm down, Sam." Castiel said. "I think I know what to do."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dean was finishing up his late shift at Bobby's, he wiped the grease from his hands and closed up shop for the night.

Suddenly, he was face to face with Castiel.

(To be contiuned!)