As I sat on the edge of my cold empty bed my phone went off. It was moments after I updated the story the T.V was playing some weird sitcom. It said
'Your making me cry'
First I was sad I thought I actually made her cry. I sighed and growned
'Why would she cry'
'Is she crying'
I thought. Why would she cry over something I said? Did I say something? So I texted her
'Dont cry'
But she didn't answer. I thought maybe she's mad at me for making another damn poem over something I did. I thought maybe she really does hate me.
I started crying over the fact that she could hate me.
"How could i-i do s-something so self centered like t-that" I thought I was being selfish with every story I would write. I was starting to stutter thinking how could I say something like that knowing she has her own demons she has to face.
Then I was angry. I thought about that time were she told me something. Then I started thinking 'what if she was telling the truth about how you go and write a damn poem about her instead of telling her Your self WHAT KINDA PERSON ARE YOU' that's when the voice started coming in.
'What kinda person are you, huh? You get mad over nothing and go throw a tantrum over nothing just pathetic'
'She left you like every one else did pretty soon everyone else is gonna leave too'
'Do you even care about her, you go on a rant over some bull shit that doesn't make sense and call her out you really are nothing like everyone said'
"N-no I know I'm someone she's not. g-gonna leave" I said out in a whisper I put my hands over my ears and tried to block out all the voices.
'To late she left probably living a better life without you'
'She doesn't want anything to do with you your saying your self just like you do with everyone you see the good but never the truth'
I crawled into a ball with my hand over my ears. "S-she's just b-been busy t-thats it" i kept repeating to my self.
'If she has been so busy then hasn't she call or texted you oh that's right she doesn't care about you'
'No cares about you at all not even you family what kinda excuse was that 'oh I'm sorry I fell in to the water' what family thinks that was the answer'
'Your nothing just give in it will make this a whole lot easier'
I kept crying "n-no n-never"
Then I just wanted the voices to stop.
I went into the kitchen where my uncles and cousins were there talking and not paying attention and picked up a full bottle of brandy when no one was looking and hurried back to my room. I took the top and chugged it before I knew it my mouth was slurring words and the voices had stopped. I passed out, sad to say this isn't the first time this has happened.
I woke up the next morning woke up with a hang over. I didn't even bother to cheak my phone. So I just wrote this. Sorry I'm like this. Sorry I'm so fucked up. Did I do something wrong? Did I something bad?
