'I'm fine'

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Dear my sweet no one

I want to say I'm fine without I being a lie

I want to feel free from this prison inside

I want to smile and not cry

I want to reach the sky

But it's up so high

For a while it was like that

But the thoughts came back

And started to attack

But every one else said I was just 'sad'

I'm so weak to say something back

They say strength is what I lack

But I guess I'll just smile threw the pain

And keep my heart living in vain

I walked the streets at night

Trying to reach you but your always out of sight

And I'm running out of time

At least I know not to get my hopes up

And not even call you 'mine'

But I'm fine

I stopped caring and stopped doing things we use to do together

When I use to believe it was forever

When I was young and dumb, but however

You say selfishness will consume me entire

I always wish the best for you

I wish you wished well for me too

But you made me look like a fool

And always told me what to do

I remember when would laugh and talk on the phone for hours

Then you would go and turn the conversation sour

I always thought it was my fault

And we yelled and fought

Like it was some silly game

But in the end it was always the same

With our voices tired from shouting

And all of my doubting

But I'm fine

My head hurts from the bad thoughts and nightmares

Then again no one really cares

We would yell and say it was unfair

But you never really cared

I remember when you stopped calling me

I guess you say right threw my bullsh*t

I don't blame you, but it's your voice that I miss

You saw right threw my fake smile and saw what I was about

All those times you would look into my eyes and not make a sound

I guess you figured it out

My head was empty, just about

I was a lie

I thought I was fine

That everything was fine inside

But I was losing myself

In the dark beneath the shadows

And the voices tell me to keep close

This was the path that I chose

Now I'm gonna put on a show

And put my mask back on

Show you that i cant keep going on

That I'll brake any moment

But I'm fine

That my heart is open

But all I am is a poet

So I'll right you a poem

Maybe in a form of a song

Show you where my darkness comes from

It came from my madness all along

When people I trusted talked behind my back

I don't say a word and don't say anything back

I'm falling apart that a fact

But no one cares

So I smiled and you knew it was an act

You didn't do any thing and that's sad

But I'm fine

So tell me how are

Are you as happy as you said you were

I hope you are

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