Reasons to Live | ✔

Chapter 28-

Chapter 28-

Three years ago, if you had asked me if I had ever thought about dating Calvin, I would've laughed at the thought of that. How would that be possible when I was dating Paul James. I was madly in love with him. He was the outgoing and sweet junior that fell for me, a shy and nerdy freshmen who only hung out with two of her best friends. We were the cutest couple in the whole school. We were always joking around and doing cheesy things. Paul was a very sweet guy. He always surprised me with roses and he took me to fancy restaurants for dinner. He was the perfect boyfriend. He treated me like a princess.

My parents loved him and thought he was the perfect guy. He always respected my parents and he always enjoyed talking to them and my parents treated him like a son. Even Joshua and Megan liked him. They always made fun of him and joked around with him. I'm not quite sure if Calvin did or not, we weren't this close before.

Everything was going great.

But then I was raped in the beginning of summer. That's when I called if off. He didn't deserve someone who was destroyed. I wasn't the pure Reina Calverly that he fell for. I was used and tainted. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but I had to break up with him. I never told him what had happened. He wanted us to be friends. He occasionally called and texted, but I never returned them. I was scared of what might've happened if I had returned his calls.

I was scared of falling for him again.

I was scared to love anyone after that.

But that changed when I met Calvin Young. It wasn't intentional either. Two strangers who became friends because of a blackmail. But now, he knew me better than my two best friends. It's funny how distant we were before and how close we got because of our deepest darkest secrets. I didn't regret any of it.

We both have stories that brought us together; him getting abused and me getting raped over the summer.

With him sitting next to me, I felt at home for once in a very long time. I had a roof above my head, but mentally it never felt like home to me. I felt lost. I never felt relaxed, safe nor happy. I was always scared, anxious and nervous whenever I was alone with someone I didn't know so well. Here he was, waiting patiently for me to get ready to walk to school. It made me happy to witness him being so patient with me.

"You sure you want to go to school?" Calvin asked again, looking up from the TV. He was wearing a wrinkled white V neck, it was in his school bag for God knows how long, and a pair of dark jeans. His hair was so messy making it look like he just rolled out of bed. He looked handsome even then.

"I'm fine. Really," I said but my eyes said something else otherwise. I had heavy bags under my eyes and I felt so tired. It was one of the best nights of my life and also one of my worst.

He watched me as I walked over and sat down next to him. I tugged at the hem of t-shirt as a way to distract myself from noticing my racing heart. For the first time in a very long time, I wish I had long hair to cover my face from him. Oh God, why was I so nervous? I felt so shy.

He chuckled as if he knew how I was feeling. 

"Still feeling shy and nervous about this whole thing?" Calvin asked gently taking my hands into his. He started playing with my fingers.

"Aren't you nervous?" I asked with an eyebrow raised

He shook his head with a big grin on his face. 

"Not at all. When I'm with you I don't feel nervous. This is the first time I've been happy since Becca moved away." 

Calvin said honestly and I knew he missed her a lot. He had a pained expression on his face and I leaned closer to him resting my head on his chest. I changed the subject not wanting to upset him even more.