Reasons to Live | ✔

Chapter 27-

Chapter 27-

"I was raped last summer."

There was no going back now. I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned against the wall. I don't want to see his reaction yet. I'm scared to death. Before he can say anything, I quickly continued.

"I didn't want to tell you. Or anyone for that matter because it's disgusting. I'm disgusting. I'm useless and good for nothing. I'm nothing but a toy now to those two guys! A piece of trash. I don't even know why someone like you would like someone like me. Look at you and look at me. You're beautiful. All the girls at school are all smart and beautiful and they know how to cook and they're so talented and just perfect. The old innocent Reina is used and shy and isn't good with anything but hiding!" I stopped and caught my breath trying to calm myself, "You deserve someone much better than me. If you think this...we...can ever be together then you're wrong. You don't deserve a girl who has scars all over her body, taunted with a rape story."

I clenched my hands into a fist. 

That was it. I told him everything and that was the sign. That was his cue to leave. All he had to do was just take five steps and he was out the house.

Out of my life.

No matter how much I tell myself I can handle the hurt, I know that I can't. I was never prepared for something as big as this. If he leaves, I won't blame him. It's a lot to take in. It's a lot to handle.

My dad couldn't stay so what makes me think that Calvin would as well?

I wasn't ever properly prepared for something as big as this. Why would he ever, in his right mind, want to be friends with, let alone, be in a relationship with a girl who was mentally and physically scarred? 

I don't think Joshua or Megan could handle something like this either. 

I didn't deserve any of them. All this time all I had been doing was lying because I was ashamed of myself and ashamed of what had happened to me. Too ashamed to ask for help.

It felt like we were in the room for hours before Calvin got up from the bed. I heard it squeaked but I kept my eyes shut afraid to see his back as he leaves for good. But I felt his presence right in front of me. I felt the heat radiating from his skin and I opened my eyes slowly.

Calvin slowly took my arm and intertwined one of his hands with mine while he pushed my sleeves upper as he examined my scars again but this time, the lights were all on so he can see it clearly. I don't flinch or move away, I let him feel them. Every single one.

"I think you're beautiful just the way you are," he finally whispered. I felt him staring at me but I didn't look up. Just hearing him say that made me want to break down.

"One day you'll leave me. You don't want a girl with a rape story," I said as I desperately tried to stop my sob and hiccups and pushed him away lightly, "You deserve someone who is prettier and more stable than me," I whispered, refusing to look at him. He held my arms tightly as if I would disappear if he let me go.

"Mon ange" he whispered holding my tear stained face. 

I finally decided to look at him rather than the floor and my breath shortened as I met his intense gaze. He wiped my face with this thumbs.

"I don't want a girl who's perfect or prettier," he said, "because I want you."

Before I can reacted, he pressed his lips against mine softly like I would break at any moment. My eyes go wide but I closed my eyes after a few seconds and kissed him back sending wild tremors down my spine. The air around was faint.