Judge: 18Dragon I just love the fact you add chapter titles. I don't know why but that alone makes me like a book more. You character are well developed and I can imagine as real people. The plot isn't something I have ever read before. Your attention to details is wonderful; I can picture playing out in front of me which is very important for writing. Keep up the amazing writing!
Judge: Kiahni_C Gripping beginning and interesting descriptions to set the scene, capturing the situation well. The two main characters have good chemistry though I found that their dialogue was often clunky and forced. It often felt like the character's past was being shoved at the reader, not allowing any suspense or tension to build around the characters and not allowing the humour of some things to truly sink in. A reader will pick up on the small things a writer leaves behind and not everything needs to be explained right in the moment. Too much dialogue in the beginning of the story makes this a slow read when they should be using the first chapters to hook their reader with tension, humour, and enticing characters they wish to read more about. They need to work on making their dialogue more interesting to read without relying so heavily on humour that can become tedious to read with its copious amounts. They have good descriptions that are easy to visualise while still being pleasant to read. Pairing this with the potential of great characters and an intriguing plot to follow gives this the beginnings of a great narrative.
Judge: Evillan I gave a low score because of the writing style. There are too much conversation. Like what I've said with the other book It should be balance so that the reader will not be bored. The plot is unique as well but Its not that unique since Ive read such books already. The book is written well and needs more proving. Fighting!
Judge: mockingjay-wild Grammar: Your grammar is really good and it has the quality of a published paperback book! Character Building: Very good indeed and I loved all the characters in your story. Writing Style: It's good but I don't see your touch in it. You can always know the authors by their writing style. I don't want to see a Stephen King style or JK Rowling style; I need to see your style! Plot Uniqueness: It is unique to an extend, actually. Overall Enjoyment: I liked it enough. - I suggest you tune down the many details. I love books that are detailed but yours seemed to go on an extreme, so yes. - It's a very nice book indeed which many people would love.
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Judge: 18Dragon Amazing! I love how you add titles to the chapters. At first I thought this was going to be like Monster High but this has more depth and lot less singing. Descriptions are great but could use a bit more. There are grammar mistakes here and there it's just little things. I would watch the capitalization. Sometimes when your characters talk the first word isn't capitalized. Keep up the great writing!
