Avatar Adventures - Snorlax2203
JUDGE: Falling_Angel_77
- I think the biggest issue with the grammar was the wrong form of the word. Just a small reminder that spell check only checks spelling not if the correct word. Other than that, there was nothing else that slowed the reading down.
- With it being a FanFic (one that I have actually watched), a few of the characters were straight out of the movie, so I was able to follow them. The main character, on the other hand was a bit jumbled. The author gave a small back story, I hope that she will continue to expand on that. But I just don't have any feels for her.
- There was a lot of fluff in the writing along with quite a bit of repetition in the sentences. With the repetition made it a bit confusing, as I felt that I was reading the same sentence a few times. One thing that did make it confusing was the lack of white space in between each speaker. That would help the story flow a bit smoother.
- After reading the first four chapters, I am still not sure what the story is about. There is no back story for the way that the characters are acting. Along with the fact that there is nothing that really resembles the summary that is with the story.
- It is cliché with the main charter of the story meeting the main character of the story, from the start. But on the other side of it, the story did veer off from the movie.
Remarks: The chapter were a bit fast paced as far as how the main character transformed and was able to fit into her new environment. But, once again the other side of the chapters, is that five chapter only covered, what appeared, to be an hour or so of time. The main character accomplished a lot in those five chapter over a course of half a day. I think that if the pacing was a little slower, with the wonder of new things being spaced out it would be more enjoyable to read. It would the reader connect with the charter and be in the same wonder of the new sights and sounds.
JUDGE: honeysinha
Review: The or the title aren't catchy, maybe because I am not a fantasy reader. The first two chapters are hardly 400 words. They explain the physical features of the creature. The third chapter is little longer but I don't see any interest building up. It's more like an essay that too with minimal description.
JUDGE: -bethwrites-
I'm like seven chapters in and I still don't know if this book has a legitimate plot, or if the author is just fantasizing about all the things they'd do if they were on Pandora. And I mean, it doesn't really make sense why she's there in the first place. The whole point of those people being sent to Pandora in the movie was to make peace with the inhabitants of the planet, which is why there was a whole lot of monetary and scientific effort put into the project. It sounds like the author just stuck themselves in there for no apparent reason, other than to hang out with other avatars and explore the area. The opening scene was a lot like the original movie too, with the whole running from the lab technicians and all. The first chapter was literally just a description of her brand new appearance.
The dialogue wasn't split into paragraphs, and even though there weren't many tense changes, the narrative was jumpy and choppy. It was literally just "Narisi did this" and "Narisi did that" for like twenty chapters. The characters are as two dimensional as they come, and there is really no character development throughout the entire book. Honestly, it was a bland, boring read for me.
Behind The Spotlight - Hakuna_Andy
JUDGE: Falling_Angel_77
- There were a few, but nothing that will hinder the reading or the ability to understand the story.
- The main character did jump out on the pages. But the other character not so much. I understand that this is a FanFic, and the other characters may be real people and such. But I have no clue who they are, so this made me want the author to tell me more about the other characters.
- This one was tricky to grade. The writing was easy to follow, but it was written just as every other Wattpad story. It wasn't totally unique, but it was also not confusing to follow.
- It was different as far as the main character actually has a job that puts her in with the 'stars' and is not kidnapped or anything over the top like that. The set-up is the same as any other story that is on Wattpad. There is the girl, the best guy friend, and the love that could have been. From the summary and the chapters that I read, I am not sure if there is a love story, but I have a strong feeling that there is.
- Granted I am not really big on FanFic, but it didn't read like a FanFic. It was a regular story, that the reader (AKA me) doesn't have to really be a fan of the group that the story is written about. Have to say, if I wasn't judging, I would have missed a good story to read when I have a few minutes or so!
- I have to say that I was surprised at how much I want to finish this story. I have no idea who the band is, but the lack of knowledge does not take away from the enjoyment of the story.
