JUDGE: HenaAdlakha • Wrong use of words, rare or poor use of punctuation marks and tenses! You need to improve. Take your teacher's help. Ask her to give you small personalized assignments. Complete them with honesty and let her check them. Knowing you mistakes is a must. Expand your drill time till you are confident about being an editor of someone else's works. • Your storyline is almost like that of the famous movie "The Ring". Authors are not made one by birth. They all have started somewhere from scratch. And although your story has some other twists, characters, you need to be original. Come up with your own whole new idea. Work on it. And see yourself flying with sparkling wings. • Characters were nice. But quite predictable. • Follow the previous advise. You need to improve. Don't lose hope, this is just the beginning of something grand. Be your own critic. Know your faults. Improve them. • Just read it because I had to judge. But continued because I wanted to see what new twists you were having in store. I am assuming that English is not your first language but if you want to pursue writing further, try harder. I really want to see write more and improve.
JUDGE: anonymous This actually felt scary. The author wasn't afraid to go by step by step with the creepy events, but everything else was lacking, especially the characters. Also, I think it was a bit fast paced. Took away a lot of power from the scenes.
Book Entry #12 - Author
JUDGE: • I actually got hooked in spite of the grammatical errors until this... "Ally heard blood curdling female screams from another room. OMG HE'S TORTURING PEOPLE." I had to read back and check if you are writing in first person POV or what. I don't really think interjections like "OMG!" are appropriate in 3'rd person narration. - update: So as I kept reading, I realized you made the italicized words her thoughts and normal ones the 3'rd POV narration. Now that's confusing for readers who just wanna read and don't wanna analyze the writing style. On the other half of the first part, narrations were not italicized but on the other half they were. I suggest you edit your italicization and stuff as they aren't organized. Or you can just describe her reactions and thoughts and don't mix it with first person POV. • Differs slightly from the typical • This is where I have to give you a low score as your writing style is confusing. • Good enough
