What Was Lost // (Harry Styles FanFic)

Chapter 26

Everyone say hey to Denny! (;^^^^

Lilly's POV

The drive to the party is short and sweet, Jo and I belting out tunes to songs we don't even know the words to. Sutter had a contemplative look on his face almost the whole drive, and looked out the window instead of at us. I'm not sure what was on his mind, but it must have been something heavy, because as soon as we pulled up in the driveway and got out of the car, he instantly pulled me in for a hug and kissed me on the cheek.

I'm not complaining, but I'm curious to know what was weighing on him. But I held off on asking, because I didn't want to ruin the night before it even got started.

    We had been at the party for close to twenty minutes now, and if people thought it was weird that I showed up with Sutter and Jo, they didn't say anything in front of us.

     Jo wanted to play a drinking game, and I told her I would, but she was drinking for both of us. I really was going to try to make it through the night without downing ten red solo cups, of God knows what.

     It didn't help that I was thinking about what happened between Sutter and I in his room before we left. I couldn't get that kiss, or the frantic gropes, and touches, out of my head. I kept catching myself rubbing my fingers over my lips, still feeling the tingling sensation he left there.

     He was on the other side of the party talking to Jesse and some other football guys, but every few minutes I would catch him looking over here at me. He had to be thinking what I was too, I know I wasn't the only one affected by what we did.

     "Lil, focus!" Jo gripes at me, noticing I'm paying attention to anything but this damn game.

     It must be my turn to try and get my quarter in the cup. I'm good at this game, and just about make it every time. I grab the quarter in between my two fingers, drop it to the table, and watched it sail into the cup. Everyone on my team started cheering, and Jo downed the drink that was really made for me.

     I watched her finish the cup in five gulps, knowing I would have finished it in two or less. The thought of the alcohol on my tongue made my mouth water, and I knew if I didn't focus on something else soon, I wasn't going to make it through the party without drinking.

     Drinking and drugs had been my life for over the past two years, and cutting that off was going to be a lot harder than I initially realized. Even though I was the one who wanted to stop, who wanted to make the change to be a better person.

     I didn't think I was an alcoholic, but I did know I became dependent on the alcohol as an escape, to get out of my head for a while and forget all the turmoil I had inside of me, and what was going on in my everyday life. It was almost a defense mechanism to the reality around me that I wished wasn't mine.

     That wasn't the case anymore, and I needed to let myself remember what it felt like to be strong, and deal with my issues without a buffer or numbness.

      "Let's go dance!" I told Jo, and was thankful she let me pull her away from the game without any complaints.

     An upbeat pop song was playing over the surround sound, and we started jumping and throwing our arms up like the other people around us. When it changed to a slow r&b song, we bumped and grinded all over each other, and I noticed plenty of boys giving Jo an appreciative look.

     After dancing to at least six songs in a row, Jo finally stopped and leaned into my ear. "Let's go to the bathroom!" She had consumed at least five solo cups of some punch since the time we had arrived, and I was surprised she made it this long.