What Was Lost // (Harry Styles FanFic)

Chapter 20

Lilly's POV

When I wake up, I realize I'm in a bed, Sutter's bed to be exact, and I don't remember how in the hell I got here. I still have a slight drunk feeling in my head, and have to really focus on the prior events the night before.

I remember waking up and talking to Sutter's mom, then to Denny's house, us drinking, us fighting, me leaving, me drinking more, me at Annie's grave telling her how sorry I am that I'm such a low life. Finishing the bottle, walking to the pond, and I started swimming. Swimming like I haven't swam in a really long time. Letting my strokes glide me through the water and I just didn't stop, until my body was full of exhaustion and I knew I needed a break.

I was laying there in the water, floating, and looking up at the stars, wondering which one my Annie was behind, when I heard the sounds of water being moved as a body passed through it.

I didn't have to look to know who it was. Anytime he was near, I could feel it. Whether it was just some uncanny way of me knowing he was there, I just always knew when he stepped into a room or was near me. It was like a tingling sensation in my back, and my heart would automatically start galloping erratically.

I remember we talked and he held me, I laid my shoulder down on his chest and closed my eyes, loving the sensation of being loved and wanted, even if it was coming from him. I must have fallen asleep on him, and he carried me to the car and drove us back home.

I can feel his heat up against my back, and I roll over to see him still sleeping, with his head tucked under the covers, his little curls poking out. I recall the words I said to him last night, and hope I made the right decision.

I have a tendency to be more affectionate when I'm drunk, if I'm around the right people that is. Sutter is unfortunately one of those people who has always been able to extract certain emotions from me that other people can't.

     Slowly, to not wake him up, I pull down the comforter so I can see his face. And I instantly hate the way my stomach fills with millions of butterflies at the sight of his handsome face. I use my hand to rub over the ache in my chest, which is always happens now when I think or see Sutter. I don't think my heart has realized yet that he's back now.

Seeing him asleep makes him look so young and peaceful, and for whatever reason it makes me remember the dream I had the other night about me being pregnant. I can't help but smile a little at the memory of me telling him for the first time that we were pregnant.

I had been avoiding Sutter like a damn plague this last week. I had yet to come to terms with that test, and keep trying to convince myself that it's wrong. I was convinced that being around him was going to make me more pregnant or something crazy like that.

But he wasn't dumb, and he knew I was avoiding him. Most days we would hang out after football practice or something, but I'd been going over to Nadine's, or telling him I had too much homework.

On Friday after the pep rally, I snuck out of the gym early with Nadine, and planned to go over to her house and skip the game all together. It was too hard to be around him and tell him the truth, but I wasn't ready to face that yet.

Nadine was the only one who knew I was pregnant, and when I told her she got so pale I thought she was going to pass out. Then she was mad at me for not telling her we had sex without a condom.

I didn't get out of the gym unnoticed though, and Sutter caught up to me in the hallway that led out to the parking lot where all the students parked.

"Lilly!" His voiced yelled from behind me.

I considered not stopping, but knew he would chase me down. I turned around slowly and try to put a smile on my face. "Hey."