Magnolia

s e v e n

After Emma finally calmed down, we went back to class. She was there, but she wasn't really. LIfelessly, she sat there, staring at her paper like she was waiting for it to draw on itself. She sat like that for ten minutes, her hands shaking as they gripped the pencil. I couldn't watch any longer so I took the pencil out of her hand, both of my larger hands holding hers.

Her empty eyes seemed to come back into reality as they met mine. She attempted a smile, but it was nothing more than an act. I took out my phone and plugged in my headphones. I handed her one, her hesitant eyes studying it before she slowly placed it in her ear. 

We sat and listened for the rest of the class, not getting any work done.  Self-portraits would have to wait. Eventually, she slumped over leaning her head on my shoulder. I did what I could to comfort her but I didn't want to cross the line, so we sat like that, listening to music until class ended and the school day was over. 

"Hey, I'll skip lacrosse practice and come over and we can watch a movie or something" I said while picking up, catching Emma smiling gratefully back at me.  "I can make popcorn- oh wait, that's right you're one of the only people on earth that don't like popcorn" I joked, trying to cheer her up. "But really, we'll pick up some candy and binge watch some show. It'll be fun" I nudged her with my elbow, eyebrows raised. 

"That's okay, really" she assured, her voice still hoarse from crying. "I have work anyway and you can't miss practice" she sighed as she began to walk out of the classroom.

I walked close behind her, grabbing her arm. "Emma, there's no way I'm letting you go to work. Not after all this. Just take a sick day, okay?" I pleaded, staring into her eyes as they watched me, contemplating. 

Eventually, a long sigh escaped her. "That's just not how it works." she muttered regretfully, "I'll call you tonight," she promised before pushing through the doors and into the parking lot. I stood back, watching as she got into her car, and took off towards a destination unknown.  

I stood there, stunned, unable to make myself walk towards the locker room. I tried to understand her, tried to wrap my head around everything but I couldn't. I just can't understand her. I'm trying but it's so hard. How can she be so tough? So-so unafraid? Her friend just died at work, the same job she does and she is still going? I was more worried than her, not for myself, but for Emma. And she didn't seem to care. 

"Come on man, if we're late coach will make us do suicides" Sam's voice brought me back, along with a playful punch in the shoulder. Sam hesitated for a second, studying my contemplative face. Ever since I told him what had happened at the party, he has been very overprotective of me. That is after I got him to stop feeling guilty for not stopping it. 

Since the party, Sam and I have grown closer too. He was my best friend, both on the team and outside of the team. He was a great guy, naive at time, but he had a full heart and that's what mattered. "Luke, you okay? You look upset" Sam said, noticing my tense stance, his hand still resting on my shoulder.

"Yeah" I muttered, trying to come up with a lie. But my thoughts escaped me, leaving us both in silence. 

Sam stared out the window with me, a darker look on his face. "Emma?" he asked, glancing down at me. 

"Yeah" I admitted, turning away from the window. Sam just nodded, smart enough to not ask questions. So for a bit, we walked towards practice in silence before Sam remembered something funny that had happened over the weekend and launched into one of his stories. And for a while, it helped. 

-

"Let's go, Smith!" Coach screamed at me from the sidelines. Focus Luke, focus, I told myself as I sprinted down the field. I dogged one defender before releasing the ball. Swoosh. I watched as it sailed past the goalie, hitting the back of the net. "There you go!" the coach yelled again, this time with satisfaction instead of anger.